I’ll be at the Aro Valley ‘Meet the Candidates’ event tomorrow so I’ll miss the live debate between Clark and Key. But in the spirit of completeness here is the drinking game:
Consume one sip whenever either candidate mentions:
Change
Trust
Kiwi’s
Hardworking
Mainstream
Consume one sip whenever Key says the words:
Sick
Tired
Bloody
Gutsful
Actually
Nanny
Consume one sip whenever Clark says the words
Slippery
Flip-flop
Merchant banker
TransRail
Shares
Consume two sips:
Whenever Clark subjects us to her blood-curdling fake laugh
Finish the bottle:
If either Bill English or Kevin Taylor attempt to disguise themselves as Key and replace him in the debate
Take a shot of Russian vodka whenever Clark refers to Key and the Nats as ‘wreckers’; two shots if she calls them ’saboteurs and wreckers’; three if she calls them ‘counter-revolutionaries’; four if she calls him a ‘Trotskyite’; five if she has her DPS bodyguards haul Key away for a show trial followed by swift execution.
Drink a can of Tui:
If Key attempts to speak Maori
Drink a glass of meths:
If John Key’s childhood in a state home is mentioned
Do a line of blow off a hookers ass:
If Merrill Lynch is mentioned
Spank the person sitting next to you:
If the Bradford Amendment to the Crime Bill is mentioned
Hide all your money in a mattress:
If Clark’s emergency December budget is mentioned

