The Dim-Post

November 3, 2008

You’ve Already Lost: The TV3 Leaders Debate Drinking Game

Filed under: Politics,satire — danylmc @ 2:30 pm
Tags:

Take one sip:

  • Every time Clark insists that the current financial meltdown is not her fault. (Take two sips if
  • Key interrupts to explain that it is actually totally his fault.)
  • Clark says flip.
  • Or flop.
  • Key tells us the election is about trust.
  • Clark tells us the election is about leadership.
  • “Labour’s five headed hydra!”
  • “National’s four headed one.”
  • “H-fee”.
  • Key rants about showers.
  • Or lightbulbs
  • “Nanny state”
  • “Borrowing for tax cuts.”
  • “Borrowing for infrastructure.”
  • “Failed ideology of the 90′s”

Take two sips:

  • If Clark mentions Lockwood Smith or Maurice Williamson
  • If Key mentions Mike Williams
  • Every time Clark promises some truly visionary sounding policy
  • Every time Key asks her why she’s waited nine years to get around to it.
  • If Clark maintains she doesn’t pay attention to polls

One shot:

  • If Clark brings up Winston Peters
  • If Key brings up Peter Dunne
  • If Clark calls John Campbell a little creep
  • If Key threatens Clark with his pimp hand

Chug:

  • If Clark realises she’s losing, throws a smoke bomb to the ground and vanishes amidst the chaos
  • Key rips off his latex face mask to reveal he’s actually Don Brash
  • Clark sprays Key in the eyes with mace

Bonus Round:

  • If Key takes the high road on campaign finance: choke yourself on a $9,990 wad of cash.
  • If Clark calls Winston Peters an exceptional Foreign Minister: drink a bottle of whiskey and give all your savings to MFAT.
  • If Key mentions his tax-cut policy: pay your American Express bill with your VISA card.
About these ads

4 Comments »

  1. Oh, you are good. Actually, no, you are bad.

    Comment by Malcolm — November 3, 2008 @ 5:49 pm

  2. I accidently flicked to it and found Helen going on about how she didn’t trust JK (hey Helen, haven’t you noticed you’ve been in power because of Peters)- it wasn’t a great look, she just came across as a bit bitter and angry.

    What idiot came up with Labour’s one and only strategy – get really nasty and personal about Key. They deserve to lose but I’m ambivalent about them losing since I’m not sure that National deserves to win.

    What ever happened to a sane Green Party. Although, if Kevin Hague was standing in Auckland Central he’d have a good chance of getting my electorate vote. It’s just that everyone before him on the list is mad.

    Comment by Neil — November 3, 2008 @ 7:34 pm

  3. “What idiot came up with Labour’s one and only strategy – get really nasty and personal about Key. They deserve to lose but I’m ambivalent about them losing since I’m not sure that National deserves to win.”

    Absolutely.

    I’m interested in your comment about the Greens. I’ve been out of the country, what insane things have they done recently?

    Comment by George Darroch — November 4, 2008 @ 4:43 pm

  4. I’m interested in your comment about the Greens. I’ve been out of the country, what insane things have they done recently?

    Well, there’s that whole global warming hoax for starters.

    Comment by Danyl Mclauchlan — November 4, 2008 @ 6:21 pm


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Rubric Theme. Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 336 other followers

%d bloggers like this: