The Dim-Post

September 22, 2009

Twelve things the Prime Minister probably shouldn’t say to the UN General Assembly on Friday

Filed under: Politics,satire — danylmc @ 6:50 am
  • Nov10ABushUN4We will bury you.
  • Whoo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Whoo ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
  • Okey-dokey.
  • Funny story. My limo driver this morning was this one legged albino Chinaman – wait, there’s nobody from China in the audience today, right?
  • So, y’all really got scammed on that Iraq thing. How’s that taste?
  • The time of elves is over. The time of men is at hand.
  • It is vital that we all work together to combat the terrible threat to our global climax.
  • You guys work for me now.
  • Allah Akbar!
  • We open with Lot #1 – Fiordland! What am I bid for this lush temperate rainforest?
  • Ban Ki, Imma let you finish but I just want to say that Boutros Boutros-Ghali was the best Secretary General of ALL TIME!.
  • Guards! Seize them!
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19 Comments »

  1. “Today will be a day long remembered. It has seen the death of Kenobi, and soon the fall of the rebellion.”

    Comment by andy — September 22, 2009 @ 7:28 am

  2. My question is to Miss Venezuela.

    This is probably the best cosplay event I have ever been too.

    It is great to be able to finally visit the Stalin room right here at the UN.

    Comment by Simon — September 22, 2009 @ 7:47 am

  3. We’ve got free nuclear weapons.

    Comment by Pascal's Bookie — September 22, 2009 @ 8:26 am

  4. I don’t think John Key has the mithril headband to pull of the ‘time of the elves’ line…

    Comment by Ataahua — September 22, 2009 @ 9:01 am

  5. “So, what is it you guys do again?”

    Comment by Shaun — September 22, 2009 @ 9:06 am

  6. Helen? Are you out there? don’t be shy, come on up here Helen, let me introduce you to everyone.

    Comment by Michael Stevens — September 22, 2009 @ 9:38 am

  7. “Helen? Are you out there? don’t be shy, come on up here Helen, let me introduce you to everyone.”

    WIN!

    Comment by david c — September 22, 2009 @ 9:40 am

  8. I’m the rapping PM and I’m here to say…
    Continuing-to-build-on-our-balanced-and-positive-progress-towards-a-global-free-trade-deal-in-light-of-the-recent-challenges-we’ve-faced-as-a-global-economic-community is the only way…

    Comment by GarethW — September 22, 2009 @ 10:22 am

  9. I fear my comment regarding landmines on conservation land has been misinterpreted.

    Comment by Sam Finnemore — September 22, 2009 @ 10:22 am

  10. Tensions between New Zealand and Tuvalu are acute, and worsening. I come here with a plea for peace, and the hope that we can avert war. We will take all reasonable steps.

    Comment by George Darroch — September 22, 2009 @ 10:40 am

  11. My years at university were apolitical, but far from asexual.

    All your base are belong to us.

    The milky bars are on me.

    Comment by Clunking Fist — September 22, 2009 @ 12:54 pm

  12. [...] Dim-Post has a list of things John Key should not say to the UN General Assembly. My [...]

    Pingback by Dim-Post Advice for Key | Kiwiblog — September 22, 2009 @ 2:01 pm

  13. Yes, it is a real country.

    Comment by Phil (not Goff) — September 22, 2009 @ 2:23 pm

  14. y’know, I used to live in New York. I had a great time playing the casinos on Wall Street. I made millions short-selling lots of currencies, and it’s great to see so many of those currencies represented here today.

    Comment by kahikatea — September 22, 2009 @ 3:39 pm

  15. “We open with Lot #1 – Fiordland! What am I bid for this lush temperate rainforest?”

    Still think this is the best.

    The Kiwiblog version of this comments thread is a predictable mass of anti-lulz.

    Comment by Sam Finnemore — September 22, 2009 @ 4:02 pm

  16. I fully support the land war in Asia.

    Comment by Flynn — September 22, 2009 @ 11:59 pm

  17. Advance Australia Fair, For We Are Young and Free.

    We’re no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of. You wouldn’t get this from any other guy…

    For those about to rock, we salute you!

    The All Blacks will lose the 2011 World Cup.

    Who’s your daddy?

    I reckon I could take all of you. At once. Who’s game?

    Wanna see my panties?

    Comment by George Darroch — September 23, 2009 @ 11:04 am

  18. Is anyone else vaguely unsettled by the UN Gen-Assembly picture Danyl’s got with this post?

    Looks like a giant robot’s skull…

    Comment by Phil (not Goff) — September 23, 2009 @ 4:41 pm

  19. Oooh, Dim-Post is famous in NZ. Jim Mora just hat tipped the blog and this line on Nat radio.

    The time of elves is over. The time of men is at hand.

    FTW?

    Comment by andy — September 23, 2009 @ 5:03 pm


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