The Dim-Post

October 28, 2009

Quote o’ the day, why New Zealand television is the way it is edition.

Filed under: Politics — danylmc @ 12:02 pm

Children will always be afraid of the dark, and men with minds sensitive to hereditary impulse will always tremble at the thought of the hidden and fathomless worlds of strange life which may pulsate in the gulfs beyond the stars, or press hideously upon our own globe in unholy dimensions which only the mad can glimpse.

H P Lovecraft. Supernatural Horror in Literature.

Labour is crying foul over a TVNZ promotional advertisement in which Finance Minister Bill English appears as the poster boy for a series of programmes on the economy.

A TVNZ spokeswoman, Andi Brotherston, said it was not considering pulling the advertisement, which is due to run until November 21.

She said the creative unit at TVNZ chose Mr English partly because of the pun on his name in the series’ title “Plain English”.

Questions over poster-boy English’s free air time. New Zealand Herald, 28th October 2009

‘Plain English’. Boy, that’s quite an Algonquin Round Table they’re operating over there at the TVNZ ‘creative unit’. Apparently Labour don’t accept this excuse but I find it utterly, horribly plausible.

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31 Comments »

  1. The creative process at TVNZ.

    I don’t have a picture of an infinite number of monkeys on typewriters, but rest assured they’re probably there and they’re writing the latest edition of Sensing Murder.

    Comment by chris c — October 28, 2009 @ 12:29 pm

  2. I would like to agree with Chris C, but I don’t think TVNZ’s budget would stretch to a single hamster on a wheel hooked up to a telegraph, let alone an infinite number of monkeys. They’d go broke for the cost of peanuts.

    Comment by Jake — October 28, 2009 @ 12:37 pm

  3. What are you trying to say about NewZillunds Next Top Model? ;)

    Comment by ropata — October 28, 2009 @ 12:40 pm

  4. Cunliffe is accusing TVNZ of corruption rather than anything quite so clever. Insular, stupid and thuggish sums up Labour at present.

    Comment by Neil — October 28, 2009 @ 12:41 pm

  5. I think all the budget is soaked up by the 168 staff on 100K+ salaries

    Comment by ropata — October 28, 2009 @ 12:41 pm

  6. Boy, that’s quite an Algonquin Round Table they’re operating over there at the TVNZ ‘creative unit’

    Had no idea what that was, but that’s awesome.

    Comment by StephenR — October 28, 2009 @ 12:44 pm

  7. “I think all the budget is soaked up by the 168 staff on 100K+ salaries:

    Hey – pay peanuts, get monkeys. Pay enough for 50,000 packs of Homebrand unsalted peanuts, get a really fat monkey.

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — October 28, 2009 @ 12:45 pm

  8. I would probably watch a show about fat monkeys. Specifically I would watch a show in which the TVNZ creative team competed against fat monkey’s to perform simple tasks and were rewarded with peanuts. Hell, Bill English could front it – I wouldn’t have a problem with that.

    Comment by danylmc — October 28, 2009 @ 12:57 pm

  9. “The scripts were checked for economic accuracy” – Bill English, in the House today.

    Alternative universe: Michael Cullen, TVNZ, “checking” the script for “accuracy”, Kiwiblog response, riot …

    Comment by sammy — October 28, 2009 @ 1:21 pm

  10. Meanwhile, wouldn’t it be nice if 1% of the hot air expended today by Cunliffe could be expended on asking this question: Why is a month of programming on the economy consigned to the digital ghetto, while One’s alleged primetime news and current affairs isn’t so much braindead as auditioning for George Romero’s next zombie flick?

    Comment by Craig Ranapia — October 28, 2009 @ 1:24 pm

  11. ““The scripts were checked for economic accuracy” – Bill English, in the House today.

    Alternative universe: Michael Cullen, TVNZ, “checking” the script for “accuracy”, Kiwiblog response, riot …”

    Quoted for truth.

    Comment by Sam Finnemore — October 28, 2009 @ 1:44 pm

  12. Andrew and Danyl – pitch the fat monkey reality show to them. They pay for Sensing Murder, so you probably have a good chance of it getting picked up.

    Comment by Eddie Clark — October 28, 2009 @ 1:50 pm

  13. I did come up with a pretty good idea for a comedy show recently. I wonder how one goes about pitching to TVNZ?

    Comment by danylmc — October 28, 2009 @ 1:58 pm

  14. Eddie, Lisa Williams already has a show on living. She’s not a medium, she’s a large.

    Comment by chris c — October 28, 2009 @ 1:59 pm

  15. Danyl, try this.

    Comment by chris c — October 28, 2009 @ 2:11 pm

  16. TVNZ- The new sheltered workshops?

    Comment by Ian Goodwin — October 28, 2009 @ 2:30 pm

  17. Why on earth would Labour complain about English being before the country as often as possible?

    Every time he talks about rich pricks and trust accounts you can hear the Nats poll lead being sucked away.

    JC

    Comment by JC — October 28, 2009 @ 3:15 pm

  18. JC wrote:
    Every time he talks about rich pricks and trust accounts you can hear the Nats poll lead being sucked away.

    I reply:
    Then Rick Barker sucks on the stupid stick and it flows back again…

    Comment by Craig Ranapia — October 28, 2009 @ 3:21 pm

  19. So they chose to name the series “Plain English” *before* they decided to get Bill to front the promo? Yeah, right.

    I look forward to the specials on Tourism (“Keys to Success”), Justice (“Take the Power Back”), Economic Development (“Putting NZ on the Map”), Transport (“The Joys of Motoring”), ACC (“It’s All Gone Horribly Wong”) etc. etc.

    Or maybe Labour are just suffering from punis envy?

    Comment by gazzaj — October 28, 2009 @ 3:30 pm

  20. a pretty good idea for a comedy show
    Meh, its been done before.

    I would watch a show in which the TVNZ creative team competed against fat monkey’s to perform simple tasks
    So you’re the reason “Can Fat Teens Hunt?” is back for another season… No, really, THANKS.

    Comment by Phil — October 28, 2009 @ 3:30 pm

  21. Phil – I thought you were joking, but that’s a real show. Dear lord.

    To paraphrase Kanye – NZ’s next top model, I know you’re a crap show and all, and I’ll let you get on with that, but Can Fat Teens Hunt? is the worst show of all time. All time.

    Comment by Eddie Clark — October 28, 2009 @ 4:08 pm

  22. “Or maybe Labour are just suffering from punis envy?”

    what’s a punis? is it the opposite of a Cunliffe?

    Comment by kahikatea — October 28, 2009 @ 5:02 pm

  23. Can Fat Teens Hunt?

    I love New Zealand television.

    Comment by George Darroch — October 28, 2009 @ 5:05 pm

  24. It turns out television in NZ does have limits of good taste and decency, after all. Jumping naked onto a sex-doll while drinking beer is not acceptable at 7:30pm.

    Comment by George Darroch — October 28, 2009 @ 5:52 pm

  25. Can Fat Teens Hunt?

    I love New Zealand television.

    It’s British though. Masters of reality trash. I’m so proud it makes my balls ache.

    Comment by chris c — October 28, 2009 @ 6:12 pm

  26. I watched this video over the weekend. MIT World: Politics and Popular Culture
    It’s a 2 hour long debate about the recent Obama’s election campaign and Pop culture.
    I recommend it for anyone who wants some brain food.

    Comment by Adhominem — October 28, 2009 @ 6:23 pm

  27. What gets me about this whole affair is that non one is pointing out the madness of promoting a show called Plain English with a man who clearly has issues with the language, his surname notwithstanding. “. . ..together, us kiwis can do it”? We Kiwis, surely? “Us can do it?” Yes us can, Bill, yes us can…

    Comment by bearhunter — October 29, 2009 @ 8:48 am

  28. I hope the Plain English program comes with English subtitles.

    Comment by Will de Cleene — October 29, 2009 @ 11:23 am

  29. “. . ..together, us kiwis can do it”

    As opposed to them Kiwi’s who have given up striving to improve themselves and their country, who choose instead a life of mediocrity, and vote Labour.

    Comment by Phil — October 29, 2009 @ 11:28 am

  30. My fav reality show based on the supernatural:

    Comment by Clunking Fist — October 29, 2009 @ 1:30 pm

  31. TVs 1, 2 and 3 are all channels of banality and as for channel 7 I’ve never even bothered to find out where it is on the remote. Were it not for Sky channels 6 and 70 – 74 I doubt I’d even have a TV in the house. So I personally have no idea what people are talking about here.

    Comment by Deus ex Machina — October 30, 2009 @ 4:51 pm


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