DPF links to the now infamous boyfriend/girlfriend google search suggestions. I took a look at the same questions for husbands and wives. The transition is poignant:
January 16, 2010
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How can I get my wife to pick my clothes up off the floor 1 gazillion results
How can i get my wife to drive tonight so I can get on it with the boys 2 billion results
How can i get my wife to wear a french maid costume no results
How can i Get my wife to sleep in the spare bed because she snores Google can not calculate the amount of results
How can i, bugger its my turn to cook, what can i do with mince again 79,000 results
How do I get my Husband to stop being a dick when he is with the boys 3,789,953,155 Results
How do I get my Husband to take out the rubbish 6,500,000,000 Results
How do I get my Husband to stop wearing his 80′s stubbies on holiday Bronagh Key is the only result
How do I get my Husband to get me a gift I want without telling him HASHSTRING%FAIL ERROR<FATAL ERROR GOOGLE CAN NOT COMPUTE
Comment by andy (the other one) — January 16, 2010 @ 5:57 pm
Perhaps the algorithm Google uses to generate these lists takes into account the users past searches.
Comment by Adam — January 17, 2010 @ 9:28 am
In practice, Google provides more helpful answers to these questions if the husband and wide use the same computer. This enables it to take into account information about the spouse’s personality gleaned from his or her own web searches (except where such data-matching is prohibited by law, in which case Google has to outsource the data-matching to a subsidiary in India).
This is, of course, completely, untrue.
Comment by kahikatea — January 17, 2010 @ 2:40 pm
Why does my husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend is sad and interesting as well, farting is an issue for 3 of them, and girlfriends hit!
Comment by Michael — January 17, 2010 @ 3:05 pm
@ Adam. Are you saying Danyl thinks I am a fat, hairy, unloving, chatterbox?
Comment by Maggie — January 18, 2010 @ 8:58 am
Maggie, don’t forget prudish.
L
Comment by Lew — January 18, 2010 @ 9:09 am
[...] agreement for providing the service of love) there appears to be an underprovision of love. (More evidence of a hole in love [...]
Pingback by TVHE » Love is a prisoner’s dilemma — January 18, 2010 @ 10:57 am
I tried some less relationship-laoed questions. – ‘how can you…’ and ‘how can I…’
The responses to the first were…well, the first three were variations on a BeeGees song and the fourth was about an STD. Behold the Interweb in all its glory.
http://hosking.blogspot.com/2010/01/how-can-i.html
Comment by Rob Hosking — January 18, 2010 @ 12:00 pm
I did “how can I…” and at #3 was “How can I get pregnant?” (if you have to ask, you shouldn’t) and at #5 was “How can I kill my baby?” Fascinating juxtaposition, I thought.
Comment by bearhunter — January 18, 2010 @ 2:31 pm
Bearhunter wrote: ” “How can I get pregnant?” (if you have to ask, you shouldn’t)”
do you have something against people with fertility problems reproducing?
Comment by kahikatea — January 18, 2010 @ 7:34 pm
If you enter “How can I get my wife to wear the Don Brash mask” the first hit is for The Standard from 2008.
Comment by joe W — January 18, 2010 @ 9:56 pm
Spot the nerd: all I was thinking was ‘why is it that how can i get my wife to love me again has more hits that how can i get my wife to love me?’ That really doesn’t seem like it would work.
Comment by Graeme Edgeler — January 19, 2010 @ 8:46 am
Graeme,
Selection bias, right?
Out of all the married husbands in the population, the probability that one would be married before being in love, at least in a ‘traditional western relationship’ sense, is a much smaller pool of Googler’s than those married men who have subsequently had their wife fall out of love with them.
Comment by Phil — January 19, 2010 @ 9:04 am
@Graeme: the numbers change if you put the phrases in quotes..
Comment by Repton — January 19, 2010 @ 9:09 am