The Dim-Post

November 7, 2010

Curiously ommitted from the Ministry of Defense White Paper

Filed under: general news — danylmc @ 4:07 pm

The SST informs us that MoD is hiring out the SAS for corporate entertainment gigs:

Star-Times inquiries revealed that staff from Auckland-based private equity company Direct Capital and several of its partner businesses were allowed into the Papakura Military Camp last month for a day of hands-on training that concluded with a cocktail party.

The bill was understood to be $35,000 – $500 a head for the 70 people instructed to meet at Auckland’s Botanical Gardens for a “conference”, but who were instead whisked out to SAS national headquarters.

At the camp, participants were put in a darkened room and SAS agents in night-vision equipment removed selected “terrorists” from the group without anyone hearing them do it. Participants were also given access to SAS firearms and allowed to shoot at human cut-outs.

Pretty good money for a day of indulging our corporate elite while they waddle around in their boat shoes playing with guns and pretending to be soldiers.

Also, clearly we need further cuts to the company tax rate so businesses like Direct Capital can grow the economy by investing their profits even more strategically than they are now.

About these ads

54 Comments »

  1. demonstrate to me on this doll, where the invisible hand touched you…

    But, but, but it was all about leadership and stuff..

    This is bad for Phil Goff..

    Comment by andy (the other one) — November 7, 2010 @ 4:32 pm

  2. This gun’s for hire – even if we’re just dancing in the dark

    Comment by k.jones — November 7, 2010 @ 6:05 pm

  3. “This is something the SAS did for Direct Capital because they are important to the economy in trying to lift exports”

    Comment by k.jones — November 7, 2010 @ 6:09 pm

  4. Oh dear, goodbye Jerry M.

    Comment by leon — November 7, 2010 @ 6:49 pm

  5. @leon

    I think you will be proved correct:

    Defence Minister Wayne Mapp has ordered an immediate inquiry after reports businessmen paid for sessions with the defence force’s elite Special Air Service (SAS) troops.

    That is code for, update your CV Mr Mateparae (former SAS).

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10686018

    Comment by andy (the other one) — November 7, 2010 @ 7:09 pm

  6. He seems to have proved inept in a few undertakings recently if I recall correctly.

    Comment by leon — November 7, 2010 @ 7:24 pm

  7. @k.jones well played

    Comment by chris — November 7, 2010 @ 7:41 pm

  8. No wonder the military are so secretive about what the SAS really do.

    Comment by peterlepaysan — November 7, 2010 @ 8:09 pm

  9. Given that Mateparae is stepping down as Chief of the Defence Force and about to take charge of the Government Communications Security Bureau, I think it’s a fairly safe bet he won’t be fired over this.

    As for the actual issue, couldn’t we kill two birds with one stone (so to speak) and have a de luxe package where participants are given access to SAS firearms and allowed to shoot at long term sickness beneficiaries? Someone should alert Paula Rebstock to the possibilities …

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — November 7, 2010 @ 8:10 pm

  10. I reckon Direct Capital should have got a whole lot more for their money. Where was the tax break and change to worker rights to better suit the environment they work in? Suckers. $500 a head with this government has to at least by you taking away morning tea breaks and reducing parental leave.

    Comment by Tim — November 7, 2010 @ 8:22 pm

  11. Nothing like Wilce followed by head of corporate jollies to ensure a promotion to spook central. Makes you wonder if he should be retired.

    Comment by leon — November 7, 2010 @ 8:29 pm

  12. Wtf?

    RadioPravda just le Hudgson rave and ramble on for about 2-3 mins repeating himself, making assumptions and raving while not laying into the Govt.

    Note to RadioPravda: letting Hodgson does this doesn’t punish the Govt for not commenting this punished your dwindling listnership.

    Note to Labour: So you knew about the Corporate SAS experience jollies already as they were going on during the last Labour Govt yes? Perhaps attended by the Labour Govt?

    Comment by leon — November 8, 2010 @ 6:59 am

  13. Yeah, ‘scuse handheld device spelling etc

    Comment by leon — November 8, 2010 @ 7:00 am

  14. Don’t worry, Leon. You made as much sense as usual.

    Comment by Fuzzy Dunlop — November 8, 2010 @ 7:20 am

  15. Now THAT is kwality.

    Comment by Guy Smiley — November 8, 2010 @ 8:51 am

  16. a more serious omission is the failure of the White paper to even mention the geo-political implications of a depleting supply of global oil. Both the US and German military have published reports this year warning that peak oil is a major strategic issue. Oh well never mind … ignorance is bliss.

    http://oilshockhorrorprobe.blogspot.com/2010/11/nz-defence-report-ignores-peak-oil-us.html

    Comment by oildepletionz — November 8, 2010 @ 10:07 am

  17. And the bit that fails to get a mention is that the funds were raised to go to a Trust for the families of ex-SAS members (including those who don’t make it back but never get mentioned)

    Comment by DavidW — November 8, 2010 @ 12:19 pm

  18. Defence doesn’t help itself with dodgy responses to issues.

    Wayne Mapp on the radio this morning was saying the Otago is suffering from contaminated fuel, likely from fuel picked up from non Navy stores. If that’s the case why are there no other engine failures being reported?

    The Otago run on diesel which is probably sourced from the same tank that supplies petrol stations and fishing boats – but we’re not, many days after the event. That says the contamination is probably from the vessel’s tanks, as if it is navy stores you would also see other engine failures.

    What is suspicious is the presence of seawater. How would seawater get into fuel stored on land? I wonder if someone on board accidentally flushed seawater into the tanks from the engine cooling system.

    The Navy should know this, which means someone is telling half truths IMO.

    Comment by insider — November 8, 2010 @ 1:28 pm

  19. And the bit that fails to get a mention is that the funds were raised to go to a Trust for the families of ex-SAS members (including those who don’t make it back but never get mentioned)

    Actually it’s just a trust for ‘SAS families’.

    So if I leased out my university facilities to corporations and kept the money ‘for my family’ you’d be cool with that?

    Comment by danylmc — November 8, 2010 @ 1:38 pm

  20. Sign me up when the Tank Corp or the RNZ Artillery have a pay-to-play day for their retirement funds, I mean trust funds.

    Comment by insider — November 8, 2010 @ 1:44 pm

  21. @18 Mapp also made a reference to ‘inspecting the hull’. So I expect they are looking for cracks that let water in.
    Not a good thing on a boat.

    Comment by Roger Parkinson — November 8, 2010 @ 1:56 pm

  22. danyl,

    It rather depends on whether you’ve got a quadrupole ion trap in your lab, and whether you’ll let me use it on a puppy.

    (BTW: I have no idea what a “quadrupole ion trap” is … but it sounds cool).

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — November 8, 2010 @ 2:01 pm

  23. Hilariously I do have an LTQ (linear trap quadrupole).

    Comment by danylmc — November 8, 2010 @ 2:11 pm

  24. Excellent. Can myself and a bunch of mates hire it for my 40th birthday? And do you supply the puppy, or do we bring our own?

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — November 8, 2010 @ 2:18 pm

  25. No charge, if you let my buddy redraft a bunch of constitutional laws at his stag party.

    Comment by danylmc — November 8, 2010 @ 2:21 pm

  26. “including those who don’t make it back but never get mentioned”

    That’s a pretty huge scoop you got there – NZ soldiers killed in action, story covered up.

    Dim-Post staff reporters should get onto it.

    Comment by sammy — November 8, 2010 @ 2:26 pm

  27. @ Roger – I heard the same thing and wondered the same. Either a crack or checking the water inlets or similar (wasn’t there a recent issue with lines being hooked up the wrong way or was that on the ferries?).

    He said it was routine good practice. Seemed pretty major, as is the length of time to review and fix the fault if it is simple fuel contamination. How can it take all week to flush and examine the tanks?

    None of this adds up and calls into question their general trustworthiness, which may be the bigger issue in the end.

    Comment by insider — November 8, 2010 @ 2:29 pm

  28. “No charge, if you let my buddy redraft a bunch of constitutional laws at his stag party.”

    You appear to have me confused with Gerry Brownlee. Most I can offer is the opportunity to tell some 230-odd 19 year olds (plus the odd mature student) that once a month the Governor-General is required by law to sacrifice a black goat in the Queen’s name. About 80% would believe it.

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — November 8, 2010 @ 2:32 pm

  29. Most I can offer is the opportunity to tell some 230-odd 19 year olds (plus the odd mature student) that once a month the Governor-General is required by law to sacrifice a black goat in the Queen’s name.

    I thought that was just a convention.

    Comment by Graeme Edgeler — November 8, 2010 @ 3:07 pm

  30. “I thought that was just a convention.”

    Enacted under urgency at John Key’s BBQ with Hillary Clinton last week. They needed more supplies after the sausages ran low, Anand Satyanand was there with a knife, and the neighbour’s pet was just across the fence. Sometimes all the stars just slip into alignment.

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — November 8, 2010 @ 3:23 pm

  31. Couldn’t the SAS have done us all a favour and shot the bankers?

    Comment by Uroskin — November 8, 2010 @ 3:33 pm

  32. this is an awesome blog sometimes

    Comment by k.jones — November 8, 2010 @ 8:27 pm

  33. Andrew Geddis, how odd is the mature student in question?

    Comment by kahikatea — November 8, 2010 @ 8:41 pm

  34. “corporate elite while they waddle around in their boat shoes”

    Really, ‘boat shoes’? You have been in academia too long there Danyl, since 1992 it would appear.

    Comment by EuroKiwi — November 9, 2010 @ 12:32 am

  35. @eurokiwi meh. these guys seem to have got a kick from the thought of being kidnapped in the dark by burly men.

    still wearing boat shoes probably isn’t too far from the mark.

    Comment by Che Tibby — November 9, 2010 @ 7:42 am

  36. Uroskin, you might laugh, but Comrade Trotter manages to parlay a similar sense of outrage into support for Frank Bainimarama’s 2006 coup.

    L

    Comment by Lew — November 9, 2010 @ 8:51 am

  37. ” @ 36.Uroskin, you might laugh, but Comrade Trotter manages to ….” yet another gratuitous

    swipe? Time to ease off the tin-canning for a bit.

    Comment by Galeandra — November 9, 2010 @ 9:42 am

  38. Galeandra, nothing gratuitous about it. Folk who endorse military dictatorships whilst claiming to defend the integrity of our defence establishment deserve all the ‘swipes’ they get.

    L

    Comment by Lew — November 9, 2010 @ 9:53 am

  39. “corporate elite while they waddle around in their boat shoes”
    Really, ‘boat shoes’? You have been in academia too long there Danyl, since 1992 it would appear.

    The boat shoe had its last flirtation with popularity in the Eurpoean summer of ’05. I picked up a couple of pairs back then to wear in Monaco during the GP Weekend (oooh, look at me being a poser…).

    Today’s ‘Corporate Elite’ are more likely to be seen in the outdoors wearing their specialist golf shoes, or pristine-condition hiking boots.

    Comment by Phil — November 9, 2010 @ 10:28 am

  40. Can’t you see it, people!?

    Now that the SAS are relegated to corporate paintball gigs, it’s only a matter of time before the Nats outsource our defence requirements to the PLA.

    Do you think they’ll take payment in milk solids?

    Comment by Gregor W — November 9, 2010 @ 2:11 pm

  41. @ 38 By “Folk who endorse military dictatorships” you are referring to Trotter’s statement: “It was Bainimarama again, in 2006, who carried through the neoliberal Right’s worst nightmare – by ordering, in the name of the people, the military overthrow of the corrupt racist kleptocracy which was bleeding Fiji dry.”
    If this is an “endorsement” then your labelling of “Comrade Trotter” is …?
    Shoddy.

    Comment by Galeandra — November 9, 2010 @ 2:18 pm

  42. Galeandra, if that sentence, replete with propaganda terms — “neoliberal right’s worst nightmare”; “in the name of the people”; “corrupt racist kleptocracy” — isn’t an endorsement then I’m really not sure what would be.

    And my labelling of Comrade Trotter as what? “Comrade” is hardly a term of abuse to Chris. But go on, take offence on his behalf if you like.

    L

    Comment by Lew — November 9, 2010 @ 2:31 pm

  43. @42 Trotter often gilds his lily; your mockery was simply a cheap shot.Trotter’s attribution to Bainimarama of populist intentions and his invocation of ‘the neo-liberal right’ in the wider context of his column is hardly justification for your interpretation of “support for..” You seem to calculatedly distort the argument he offered and play to the gallery here who are only to happy to drown out discourse with slick mockery. Socialism is sooo last century.

    Comment by Galeandra — November 9, 2010 @ 2:47 pm

  44. Galeandra, at the risk of further hijacking the thread — I’m intimately familiar with Chris’ style, and particularly his tendency to make “the enemy of my enemy” rationalisations for what are often uncomfortable positions for a “progressive” or a “lefty” of any sort to countenance. This is just such a case.

    Perhaps you’re not aware, but Chris has in the past quite explicitly defended the Bainimarama coup as a lesser evils (when he was writing at policy.net.nz, which is now down). This sort of position was more defensible in 2008, when the prospect of good-faith engagement with the international community leading to elections on the agreed timetable provided a fig-leaf of legitimacy; much less so now. So such a reading is not a distortion; it’s taking his remarks at face value and in congruence with prior form on this very topic.

    L

    Comment by Lew — November 9, 2010 @ 3:15 pm

  45. No posts today. Danyl must be halfway to Mali by now.

    Comment by Guitarodactyl — November 9, 2010 @ 5:11 pm

  46. nope – team building excercise with Hezbollah

    Comment by k.jones — November 9, 2010 @ 5:32 pm

  47. Halfway to the insane asylum if most the posts on this thread are any indication.

    Comment by leon — November 9, 2010 @ 5:45 pm

  48. Danyl must be halfway to Mali by now

    The quickest way (that I could find with a quick ‘web search) to get to Bamako Intl Airport in Mail is via Dubai. It’s a 20.05 hour flight from AKL to DXB, add an hour or two layover then another 12.15 to BKO, via Haile Selassie International in Ethiopia.

    All up, it’s a minimum 34 hour trip, if your timing is perfect.

    We last saw Danyl post here at 2.21pm yesterday. Assuming the comment was made from Koru Club over a Pinot Noir, he could, in fact, be in Mali by midnight tonight, NZ time.

    Comment by Phil — November 9, 2010 @ 6:34 pm

  49. Phil,

    You have WAY too much time on your hands. But you spend it well.

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — November 9, 2010 @ 6:43 pm

  50. Spending it well would involve receipts from disreputable environs, quoting travel searches not

    Comment by leon — November 9, 2010 @ 7:36 pm

  51. leon: fun. ur doin it wrong.

    Comment by Che Tibby — November 10, 2010 @ 7:38 am

  52. Re: comment 43:

    I like that term “slick mockery” – sums up the activities here very nicely. When Danyl returns from Mali he could surely amend the blog title to read:

    DIM POST – Fomenting Slick Mockery since 2008

    Comment by Sam — November 10, 2010 @ 11:50 am

  53. foment [foh-ment]

    –verb (used with object)
    1. to instigate or foster (discord, rebellion, etc.); promote the growth or development of: to foment trouble; to foment discontent.
    2. to apply warm water or medicated liquid, ointments, etc., to (the surface of the body).

    Dimpost – That tingling sensation means it’s working.

    Comment by Phil — November 10, 2010 @ 12:30 pm

  54. Mali and Me by Danyl McLaughlan

    Told in first-person narrative, this book chronicles the exploits of the former blogger as he follows what he believes to be the voice of God, and travels to Mali, a heavily populated and poverty-stricken West-African nation. Using his trademark satirical style, McLaughlan paints a hilarious picture of his travels, which include being robbed, stabbed and eventually conracting HIV from a local prostitue.

    !!!Spoiler alert!!! The dog dies at the end.

    Comment by Brad — November 10, 2010 @ 12:51 pm


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Rubric Theme. Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 404 other followers

%d bloggers like this: