The Dim-Post

February 23, 2012

Joy

Filed under: media — danylmc @ 5:57 pm

At the end of a long day and I went to the Herald site to see if anything could lift me up. And there she was:

About these ads

54 Comments »

  1. She has taken over as editor in chief of the vapid and lazy/stupid section of teh Herald, stand aside Deborah Hill Cone.

    Comment by andy (the other one) — February 23, 2012 @ 6:06 pm

  2. She will have read somewhere that drinking your child’s cord blood reduces wrinkles.

    Comment by Aztec — February 23, 2012 @ 6:48 pm

  3. Sorry but whats your problem? Should not not be allowed the the choice to do that?

    Comment by gn — February 23, 2012 @ 7:44 pm

  4. Should *she* not – yes basic error but point still stands. Why is it your business? Apart from being potential blog fodder to the converted?

    Comment by gn — February 23, 2012 @ 7:49 pm

  5. gn and Shelley up the tree D-R-I-N-K-I-N-G-U-M-B-I-L-I-C-A-L-B-L-O-O-D-T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R-A-N-D-K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    Comment by Andrew M — February 23, 2012 @ 8:05 pm

  6. What a wanker you are these days D.Mc.

    Comment by stephen — February 23, 2012 @ 8:54 pm

  7. As coincidence would have it, I was just listening to an item on the BBC World Service about the growing use of antiseptics to treat the umbilical cords of neonates in developing countries. Apparently the wound can become a source of infection, and if treated with inexpensive anti-bacterial agents it can significantly reduce infant mortality.

    How different, how very different, from the suburban life of our own dear Shelley Bridgeman! And what a striking contrast between the quality news coverage provided by the cash-starved World Service (through the Auckland Radio Trust, pbuh) and the heap of old codswallop that the Herald sees fit to dish up.

    Comment by Higgs Boatswain — February 23, 2012 @ 8:56 pm

  8. The cash starved World Service, god you are a wanker too ‘Higgs Boatswain’

    Comment by stephen — February 23, 2012 @ 9:13 pm

  9. How did you know what I have in my fridge.

    Comment by Tim — February 23, 2012 @ 9:18 pm

  10. You have Bridgeman in your fridge? Huzzah.

    Comment by Sacha — February 23, 2012 @ 9:27 pm

  11. @ stephen – Actually, there is nothing wrong with a discussion of storage of umbilical cords, as Higgs B points out. The humour lies in the mere anticipation of the treatment the topic will receive at the pen of St Shelley of Herne Bay (patron saint of trypewriters).

    It is kinda like shooting fish in a barrel tho’…

    Comment by bob — February 23, 2012 @ 11:00 pm

  12. yay! now call me a wanker, too, stephen. it’s such an awesome put-down because it implies that the person you are insulting masturbates and this is a source of great social shame!

    Comment by nommopilot — February 24, 2012 @ 12:11 am

  13. I apologise deeply nomo, what I should have said was “no the wonder the beltway academic liberal left are viewed with such contempt by middle New Zealand if making prattish nose snorting asides at Bridgeman is de rigour”

    Comment by stephen — February 24, 2012 @ 4:20 am

  14. whats this about umbilical cords and wanking?

    Comment by Cnr Joe — February 24, 2012 @ 6:31 am

  15. Um yeah it’s “de rigueur”, although I’m sure you misspelled it on purpose to avoid having to call yourself a wanker.

    There’s more than one stephen right? This one seems to have replaced leon and will.

    Comment by Guy Smiley — February 24, 2012 @ 7:22 am

  16. Alright you wankers! Which one of you wankers called that wanker, a wanker?

    Comment by andy (the other one) — February 24, 2012 @ 7:36 am

  17. Stephen’s gotta be better than PG though, if only because his posts are shorter.

    Comment by MeToo — February 24, 2012 @ 7:50 am

  18. I apologise deeply nomo, what I should have said was “no the wonder the beltway academic liberal left are viewed with such contempt by middle New Zealand if making prattish nose snorting asides at Bridgeman is de rigour”

    To say nothing of the online bottom-feeders who in turn make prattish nose snorting asides at the beltway academic liberal left…

    (Yes, I’m aware that the next logical step puts me at the bottom of the hierarchy, but I think I’m cool with that in the greater scheme of things)

    Comment by Sam F — February 24, 2012 @ 8:19 am

  19. Look I’m sorry, it was one of the most popular NZ boys’ names in the 70s. Always at least other in every class at school, almost as bad as the Jasons.

    Comment by Stephen Judd — February 24, 2012 @ 8:45 am

  20. This one seems to have replaced leon and will.

    Very probably a succession of sock puppets. You can add “Little_Stevie” and “Trouble Man” to the list. The poor fellow seems rather obsessed and insecure.

    Comment by Rhinocrates — February 24, 2012 @ 8:50 am

  21. This one seems to have replaced leon and will.

    Probably a succession of sock puppets. You can add “Little Stevie” and “Trouble Man” to the list. The poor fellow seems rather obsessed and insecure.

    Comment by Rhinocrates — February 24, 2012 @ 8:51 am

  22. I have heard that it in certain circles it is de rigueur to be de rigour but I’m not sure if that involves turgidity

    Comment by merv — February 24, 2012 @ 8:57 am

  23. “Look I’m sorry, it was one of the most popular NZ boys’ names in the 70s. Always at least other in every class at school, almost as bad as the Jasons.”

    Ha, try being a Matthew from the early eighties. Most of us dont even bother using our real names on the interweb for fear of mistaken identity

    Comment by swan — February 24, 2012 @ 9:08 am

  24. Danyl I suspect you’ll ADORE the opening sentence of the latest masterpiece:
    On Thursday last week I was power walking about fifty-metres behind the Hosking-Hawkesby newlyweds, who were taking their grooms-dog for its morning walk, when up ahead I spied an obstacle.

    http://www.nzherald.co.nz/shelley-bridgeman/news/article.cfm?a_id=724&objectid=10786751

    Comment by garethw — February 24, 2012 @ 9:29 am

  25. > Ha, try being a Matthew from the early eighties

    What about a Nigel or, heaven forbid, a Wayne Kerr?

    Comment by Ross — February 24, 2012 @ 10:07 am

  26. On Thursday last week I was power walking about fifty-metres behind the Hosking-Hawkesby newlyweds, who were taking their grooms-dog for its morning walk, when up ahead I spied an obstacle.

    Fucking Brideman. She has no shame.
    She stole this line from Dickens.

    Also +1 Rhino.

    ‘stephen’ is definitely ‘little stevie’
    Same trite potshots, lacking any intellectual de rigour.

    Comment by Gregor W — February 24, 2012 @ 10:09 am

  27. On Thursday last week I was power walking about fifty-metres behind the Hosking-Hawkesby newlyweds, who were taking their grooms-dog for its morning walk, when up ahead I spied an obstacle.

    Yes. Someone mailed it to me yesterday. I do love it, but I don’t want to ruin it by reading the rest of the article.

    Comment by danylmc — February 24, 2012 @ 10:12 am

  28. She’d have nailed it if only she ‘espied’ the obstacle. Just spying it is so de rigour

    Comment by insider — February 24, 2012 @ 10:12 am

  29. awesomely awesome! Next she will be telling us about how she paid $5,000 to have a totally hygenic lotus birth for her second baby. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lotus_birth Except maybe not, because that wouldn’t have an ongoing cost she could reflect on while walking behind the Hoskings.

    Comment by Amy — February 24, 2012 @ 10:22 am

  30. And this is honestly the opening sentence of a different column from only 21 days before:
    In mid-January I was striding along a road in rural Hawke’s Bay on my 4.4km power walk, with a car museum to my right and a farmyard zoo to my left, when a pale van approached from behind and came to a complete stop in the middle of the road

    Are we totally sure she’s not just an algorithm of some form ?

    Comment by garethw — February 24, 2012 @ 10:32 am

  31. Oh and I actually do recommend reading the rest of the grooms-dog article, it maintains those cracking standards throughout…

    Comment by garethw — February 24, 2012 @ 10:36 am

  32. Hooray. Its been longer than usual since the last “we are so clever and urbane because we realise that Shelley Bridgeman is an idiot” post

    Comment by King Kong — February 24, 2012 @ 10:36 am

  33. You don’t need to be clever or urbane to realise that Shelley Bridgeman is an idiot.

    You merely need a smattering of the Queen’s English and a love of the absurd.

    Comment by Gregor W — February 24, 2012 @ 10:47 am

  34. You merely need a smattering of the Queen’s English and a love of the absurd.

    That’s why we’re all here.

    Comment by Phil — February 24, 2012 @ 11:18 am

  35. Will/Little Stevie accused me of “shellacking” or varnishing him once. That’s suitably Dadaist.

    Comment by Rhinocrates — February 24, 2012 @ 11:29 am

  36. “On Thursday last week I was power walking about fifty-metres behind the Hosking-Hawkesby newlyweds, who were taking their grooms-dog for its morning walk, when up ahead I spied an obstacle.”

    Yes it would be a shame to read any further. Otherwise I might discover that the ‘obstacle’ is not, in fact, one of those huge chopping or pounding machines, towards which the protagonists, usually – as in this case – cartoon characters, are inexorably drawn by a conveyor belt or a runaway train.

    Comment by Danu — February 24, 2012 @ 11:46 am

  37. Our Shelley might be an easy target but oh God, she’s awful. Auckland’s a big city now. Can’t it’s daily newspaper come up with something better? And it’s downright cruelty letting her publish because she makes such a fool of herself: she has no self-irony.Joanne Black in The Listener does have the latter. Hmmmm. Why do I see a similarity? Smugness? Lack of the subtle art of self-deprecation? Rightwingedness?

    Comment by MaureenMaura — February 24, 2012 @ 12:47 pm

  38. Hi Rhino!!! Are you sober today!!?

    “we are so clever and urbane because we realise that Shelley Bridgeman is an idiot” how true but I guess it was Friday and the beltway lead swingers were on a go slow before the long lunch.

    Comment by stephen — February 24, 2012 @ 6:09 pm

  39. What’s a beltway? You know stevie, your comments are sadly predictable and lacking in rigour. Surely you can do better.

    Comment by Guy Smiley — February 24, 2012 @ 6:28 pm

  40. I was going to buy the Herlad today….but when I saw the front page was a list of foods we should avoid, I didn’t bother. You can get that info off the Internet with a quick Google……and if that was the BIG story today…the rest of the newspaper is probably an ephemeral memorial to dead trees.

    Comment by Steve (@nza1) — February 24, 2012 @ 6:29 pm

  41. Hi Guy!!! Your sad lefty baiting lacks imagination kinda like a public servant n’est-ce pas?

    Comment by stephen — February 24, 2012 @ 6:39 pm

  42. Yawn, obviously you can’t do better, my mistake. Give up on the 3rd from French though stevie. It makes you come across as a wanker.

    .

    Comment by Guy Smiley — February 24, 2012 @ 7:44 pm

  43. What’s this “3rd from French” you witter about Guy? Awfully sad grammer for one who likes to expose others failings in english lit.

    Comment by stephen — February 24, 2012 @ 7:51 pm

  44. It’s your attempts at French which are embarrassing you little man.

    Comment by Guy Smiley — February 24, 2012 @ 8:01 pm

  45. “What’s this “3rd from French” you witter ON about Guy? Awfully sad grammAr for one who likes to expose others['] failings in english lit.”

    “It’s your attempts at French THAT are embarrassing[,] you little man.”

    If you two can’t play nice, your parents are going to have to send you both to bed without ice cream.

    Comment by Grassed Up — February 24, 2012 @ 8:21 pm

  46. @stephen

    vous êtes un branleur

    Comment by andy (the other one) — February 24, 2012 @ 8:23 pm

  47. Chuggers unite eh andy & guy

    Comment by stephen — February 24, 2012 @ 8:30 pm

  48. @ Stephen

    I am happy to be called a wanker, as its true! But a chugger I am not: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chugger

    Comment by andy (the other one) — February 24, 2012 @ 8:36 pm

  49. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chug+cock

    Comment by stephen — February 24, 2012 @ 8:57 pm

  50. He really thinks that that has an effect! It’s almost cute! Can you imagine? He said “You suck dick”… I can imagine andy having to have the bottle of pills wrested away from him as he weeps, “oOh my God, my life is without meaning because a teenager has pulled faces at me!”

    Come on “Stephen” say something for me too – show me that you care because you know that I matter to you. Make me weep, cringe, shrivel because you use rude words. Do the tough love thing.

    Oh… OK, that was fun for a few fractions of a second.

    Sorry Stevie boy, don’t bother, you’ll be wasting your time. Try wit instead – we’re all urbane intellectuals here, remember? The more rarified and erudite the better.

    Comment by Rhinocrates — February 25, 2012 @ 12:24 am

  51. You have proven my point Rhinocrates repeatedly in fact.

    Comment by King Kong — February 25, 2012 @ 5:27 am

  52. You rejoin the “Bridgeman is a dummy” chortle-fest, I hear it’s a blast reading a newspaper that’s not worthy.

    Comment by stephen — February 25, 2012 @ 5:37 am

  53. @ garethw – I couldn’t help but be reminded of the lkes of: “What do you expect? He’s probably got nasty rashes,” observed Jacque Burocki. When asked his opinion, the mayor asserted, “No sir, I don’t like it.” He later exclaimed, “Please don’t quote me on that.”

    Comment by **** — February 25, 2012 @ 11:18 am

  54. After 50-mumble comments and a whole weekend, I can’t believe nobody has commented “just as you imagined she would be.”

    L

    Comment by Lew — February 27, 2012 @ 2:32 pm


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Rubric Theme. Blog at WordPress.com.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 350 other followers

%d bloggers like this: