The Dim-Post

May 1, 2012

Banks to go today. Right?

Filed under: Politics — danylmc @ 7:19 am

The Herald reports that John Banks lobbied a government Minister on behalf of Kim DotCom. Put that together with Banks’ denial that he thanked DotCom for his donation, but instead called him to thank him for the New Years eve fire-works display, and the revelation on TV3 last night that DotCom will produce phone records proving that Banks’ phoned him in June a day-or-so after the donation checks cleared, and you’ve gotta call time on Banks’ Ministerial portfolio. He’ll ‘offer to stand-down’ (the PM will sack him) because the ‘sideshow’ is distracting the public from the government’s very important legislative agenda, ie stopping the hordes of boat people swarming onto our shores (for value of hordes equal to zero).

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33 Comments »

  1. Did you miss the ‘interview’ at the bottom of the first article!? The real story here might be why kimdotcom and johndotbanks broke of their, err, umm… ‘relationship’.

    Comment by Sam — May 1, 2012 @ 6:54 am

  2. Banks was always eccentric; Now he seems to have gone in off the deep end.

    Comment by Sanctuary — May 1, 2012 @ 7:33 am

  3. Sounds like they really touched a nerve there….

    Comment by Psycho Milt — May 1, 2012 @ 7:36 am

  4. Kim and Johny,
    lunching at Coatesville:
    C-R-O-N-Y-I-N-G
    First comes broship,
    then comes fireworks,
    then comes $50K
    in two sequentially numbered cheques (internet banking not good enough for you dotcom?)

    Variations on theme welcomed, hasty effort before shower.

    That Radio Live transcript is classic flustered Banks; perhaps wife lunching at Coatesville involved some extra curricular swingin (giigidy)

    Comment by Luke — May 1, 2012 @ 7:46 am

  5. You’d think Banks is toast Ministerially wise, at least until next year anyway.

    Comment by merv — May 1, 2012 @ 8:13 am

  6. My guess about why Key didn’t stand Banks down sooner is that Key would know the reason Dotcom is doing this is precisely because Banks would not lobby the govt for special treatment over Dotcom’s arrest.

    Dotcom is out for revenge against he govt so I can see the reluctance to give that crook any satisfaction.

    So a lesson for politicians about getting invloved with conartists.

    Comment by NeilM — May 1, 2012 @ 8:37 am

  7. Crook and conartist! And all before he has even been before the court! Pray tell NeilM, can your crystal ball predict tomorrows 3.15pm winner at Ellerslie as well?

    Comment by Sanctuary — May 1, 2012 @ 8:58 am

  8. Sanctuary, he is a convicted embezzler and inside trader – i think that qualifies him for being called a crook.

    Comment by JB — May 1, 2012 @ 9:15 am

  9. Funny how a Refugee half baked plan should burst onto the news at this time. Anyone smell a distracted rat?

    Comment by xianmac — May 1, 2012 @ 9:26 am

  10. In Germany, JB.

    And they are all Huns there anyway, so can’t be trusted.

    Comment by Gregor W — May 1, 2012 @ 9:28 am

  11. Sanc, he thought he was buying Banks and was collecting the goods on him via recordings. he bought is way into the country and no doubt thought spreading a bit of largess around the local govt scene was going to have a pay off.

    little did he know Banks isn’t all that reliable. But I thnk Banks was just playng the usual funding Kabuki bwhile Dotcom saw it as something a bit more significant.

    Comment by NeilM — May 1, 2012 @ 9:41 am

  12. “ie stopping the hordes of boat people swarming onto our shores (for value of hordes equal to zero).”

    Now, now danyl. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there. For all you know, there could be thousands upon thousands of invisible, immaterial boat people making their way into Wellington Harbour right at this moment. And then where will you be? Huh?

    Also, will these hordes come to us on cabbage boats (be it up river or down)?

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — May 1, 2012 @ 9:43 am

  13. “But I thnk Banks was just playng the usual funding Kabuki bwhile Dotcom saw it as something a bit more significant.”

    So we give Banks a pass because he pulled a fast one on a foreigner, while a real New Zealander would have realised that Banks would never deliver the goods on a $50,000 payoff? THIS is what it’s come to?

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — May 1, 2012 @ 9:45 am

  14. THIS is what it’s come to?

    it’s getting to look like a Coen brothers story.

    Comment by NeilM — May 1, 2012 @ 9:52 am

  15. “it’s getting to look like a Coen brothers story.”

    More like a Carl Hiaasen novel.

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — May 1, 2012 @ 9:56 am

  16. Carl Hiaassen, I had to look him up. Of Florida he said:

    “The Sunshine State is a paradise of scandals teeming with drifters, deadbeats, and misfits drawn here by some dark primordial calling like demented trout. And you’d be surprised how many of them decide to run for public office.”

    At least Coatesville doesn’t have alligators.

    Comment by NeilM — May 1, 2012 @ 10:06 am

  17. “Coatesville Capers”

    Comment by merv — May 1, 2012 @ 10:08 am

  18. There is nothing wrong with a good, existential threat, AG.

    To paraphrase the great Sarah Palin, I can actually see boat people from land here in Jervois Quay.

    Comment by Gregor W — May 1, 2012 @ 10:09 am

  19. “At least Coatesville doesn’t have alligators.”

    That’s no reason not to legislate to allow for their mass extermination by helicopter gunship. Just in case.

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — May 1, 2012 @ 10:15 am

  20. Gone?
    By lunchtime, hopefully!
    One hour and three quarters to go.
    Counting down.

    Comment by Mr February — May 1, 2012 @ 10:16 am

  21. “To paraphrase the great Sarah Palin, I can actually see boat people from land here in Jervois Quay.”

    Actually, to paraphrase the great Tina Fey taking the piss out of the great Sarah Palin … .

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — May 1, 2012 @ 10:16 am

  22. @AG

    PALIN: They’re our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska.

    I think Tina Fey modified it to “I can see Russia from my house” or something similar.

    Comment by Gregor W — May 1, 2012 @ 10:42 am

  23. Oops! Sorry.

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — May 1, 2012 @ 10:48 am

  24. Wasted HoS headline opportunity:

    “DotCom data purged from faulty Memory Banks”

    Comment by Gregor W — May 1, 2012 @ 12:03 pm

  25. *buys Gregor a beer*

    Comment by Ataahua — May 1, 2012 @ 12:46 pm

  26. Gregor W – gold!

    Comment by Sanctuary — May 1, 2012 @ 12:51 pm

  27. Even if Banks is in the clear on knowing about the donations he’s contrived to make himself look shifty anyway, so it’s a matter of how many good questions about confidence in him Key thinks he’ll get, and how many he is willing to put up with. And if it looks as if it will drag on.

    Comment by mshanahanz — May 1, 2012 @ 12:57 pm

  28. “for value of hordes equal to OR LESS THAN* zero” (for folk headed to Australia)

    There, corrected.

    I must admit I nearly choked when I saw yr headline “Banks to go today. Right?” as I was worried sections of our finance sector were about to be nationalised.

    Comment by Clunking Fist — May 1, 2012 @ 1:42 pm

  29. Banksy’s Christmas

    The news had come out in election eleven
    The bloody Red peril was polling to win
    The National command ignored all of its men
    And called on Banksy to do it again.

    Was the week before poll day, 40 below
    When Banksy went out in search of his bro
    He spied gigly John Key, fiercely they talked
    With mike in his tea Banksy knew he was caught.

    Johndotbanks and Johndotkey
    friends in need indeed
    voters gift for favours
    and Winston was back

    A man Kim had Banksy dead in his sights
    He showed John his bank notes all wadded up tight
    Leave it to me Williamson is my friend
    But Simon not Maurice was the man who to bend

    Johndotbanks and Kimdotcom
    Friends in need indeed
    Cash traded for favours
    But favours weren’t as planned

    Kim Dotcom made Banksy hide with his swine
    And forced him to spout some terrible lines
    Banksy was certain that this was the end
    Then Kim Dotcom cried out, “Merry Christmas, my friend!”

    Kim Dotcom then offered a horrible roast
    And Banksy, our hero, resembled his ghost
    And then with a roar they were both on their way
    Each knowing they’d meet on some other day.

    Johndotbanks and Kimdotcom
    Ringing sheets will show
    mates and kings of all the world
    Until Williamson

    Comment by Aztec — May 1, 2012 @ 2:08 pm

  30. “Banks to go today. Right?”

    Wrong.

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — May 1, 2012 @ 9:06 pm

  31. “Wrong.”

    IMO a damning reflection of the lack of integrity exhibited by Key and the National government

    p.s kudos Aztec for the Banks busting ballad

    Comment by Luke — May 2, 2012 @ 9:48 am

  32. Aztec, sweet!

    Comment by Clunking Fist — May 3, 2012 @ 12:31 pm

  33. @ AG

    Enjoyed your piece on NatRad the other day.
    “Shaking the tree, just letting all of the coins fall into someone else’s pocket.”

    Gold.

    @mshanahanz

    contrived to make himself look shifty anyway…

    This is what has always amazed me about Banks.
    He looks and sounds like some form of sideshow swindler.
    He has a weird combination of loudness, obfuscation, fake bonhomie and instant cheesy smile that makes me immediately distrust him, and I’m sure I’m not the first person this has occurred to.

    So why can someone who, in every TV appearance, has so many verbal and non-verbal queues that give the impression that he is a complete shyster, manage to worm his way into some form of public office year after year?

    Comment by Gregor W — May 3, 2012 @ 1:44 pm


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