The Dim-Post

August 24, 2012

Liquor lobbyists crack down on Justice Minister

Filed under: Politics,satire — danylmc @ 8:19 am

Lobbyists for the alcohol industry have rolled out tough new counter-measures to get tough on Justice Minister Judith Collins and prevent the government rolling out tough new counter-measures or getting tough against them in the battle over alcohol regulation.

Multinational liquor companies and local breweries have combined forces to crush attempts to regulate the alcohol content of ‘ready-to’drink’ beverages. The harsh new measures will make Justice Ministers more accountable to industry pressure and curb attempts to make multi-national liquor companies and local breweries more accountable.

Although National has cautiously welcomed the brutal crackdown on itself, veteran campaigner Sue Bradford has denounced the changes. ‘This Judith Collins bashing is just another example of powerful corporations victimising the weak and powerless,’  Bradford said while being bundled into the back of a police-car by Parliamentary Security guards dispersing a pro-Collins protest at Collins’ request.

The Justice Minister announced the changes to the Alcohol Reform Bill via a photo-essay of photo-shopped cat photos posted to Instragram, and defended them via the TradeMe bulletin board. The Minister’s Yahoo chat profile was set to ‘busy’, so she was not available for further comment.

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8 Comments »

  1. I wonder if the Government’s ‘get tough’ approach will ever involved ‘Crusher’ Collins, a car compactor and several pallets of RTDs.

    Comment by Ataahua — August 24, 2012 @ 8:33 am

  2. Surely she just crushes the empties on her head, Ataahua?

    Comment by Vanilla Eis — August 24, 2012 @ 9:43 am

  3. Not sure if I should laugh or cry about this one. The implication that governments are dictated to by the big corporations is my worst nightmare.

    Doug

    Comment by DougC — August 24, 2012 @ 10:22 am

  4. Of course – what was I thinking?

    Comment by Ataahua — August 24, 2012 @ 11:11 am

  5. Gordon Campbell sums things clearly.

    Comment by George D — August 24, 2012 @ 3:02 pm

  6. The most effective method of addressing the appalling statistics relating to alcohol abuse and its the public health impact is to stop collecting the statistics.

    Comment by Gregor W — August 24, 2012 @ 4:34 pm

  7. 20% of the population behave badly with alcohol for a short period of their lives. The rest of us have to bear the brunt of it, one way or the other. OK ban alcohol (heh) something else will replace it.

    It is our behaviour and attitudes that cause social problems, not substances.

    Comment by peterlepaysan — August 24, 2012 @ 7:48 pm

  8. I actually laughed at this one.
    Good post Danyl :)

    Comment by K2 — August 25, 2012 @ 5:47 pm


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