For the information of the compiler of this text, the Gunning Fox calculator at http://gunning-fog-index.com/ rated all the half-dozen or so Hansard extracts I put through it at between 16 and 22. Though my standard of literacy is slightly above the average, I found none of the extracts incomprensible – boring as bat-shit, yes, but not incomprehensible. Actually, it just occurred to me to put some of the minister’s answers through the same calculator and, suprisingly, none come near to rating 18. I don’t have the time to rate them all. The highest rating passage was actually the Speaker’s statement beginning with the words “Order! If I am going to help members on this matter, they should be a little silent …”

What I did find surprising about this passage was the way in which the Speaker directed and guided the minister towards providing a succinct and informative answer; something that the minster was clearly not inclined to go. Most parliamentary presiding officers would stop at offering some anodyne statement like “I am sure the minister is answering the question, though the member may not like the answer he is getting.” I would hardly rate parliamentary question time as a golden opportunity for members to gain clear and concise information about government policy.

In summary, a nice try at a humourous rendition, and probably worth a bit of a chuckle, but perhaps the author might like to try something really clever next time.

There was me thinking you’d link to the scene where the machine translation device is screaming “we come in peace, we come in peace” (in translation of ak ak ak), as the martians lay waste to everything they can see.