The Rice Visit

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice spent this weekend in Auckland meeting Winston Peters, Helen Clark and John Key. What were the motivations for her visit?

• Investigate and personally report back to the President about persistent rumours that toilets drain the other way this far south.
• Important for the Secretary of State to maintain relationships with key US allies like New Zealand and Samoa while Deputy Secretary John Negroponte serves largely ceremonial role, currently negotiating border issues between Afghanistan and Pakistan.
• Heard there was a nice handbag shop on Vulcan Lane; doesn’t really have anything else to do, so . . .
• Intelligence briefing at beginning of week suggested Vice President Dick Cheney was in a bad mood; other side of the world just seemed like a smart place to be.
• Will inquire into allegations made by Investigate Magazine that the Clark government is stockpiling uranium.
• Demand explanation from John Key regarding Pentagon intelligence report that he is planning an alliance with Isengard.
• Smile pleasantly at incompetent, disgraced foreign minister; when confident that make-up is fixed close compact and go meet Winston Peters.

The child of pride

The tyrant is a child of Pride
Who drinks from his sickening cup
Recklessness and vanity,
Until from his high crest headlong
He plummets to the dust of hope.

Sophocles, Oedipus Rex

Actually, Sophocles aside I’m inclined to agree with Colin Espiner: Winston will simply not resign under any circumstances, Clark cannot sack him without bringing down the government, National are riding too high in the polls to risk anything that might upset their numbers. Winston gets a pass.

But his big weekend with Condi Rice is now a trainwreck. The only sane way for him to handle his press conference was to announce that he was appointing an independant auditor to investigate his trusts and party finances (‘And I am confident they will find no wrongdoing and that will put this matter to rest once and for all’). That’s not his style though and the conference was a catastrophe, with TVNZ political editor Guyon Espiner taking the almost unprecedented step of overtly criticising the foreign minister.

The Dominion-Post will almost certainly lead with fresh revelations tomorrow. Peter’s is scheduled to have a joint conference with Rice this weekend with the number of media questions restricted to four; two from foreign press and two from the locals (the questioners to be decided by ballot). That’s the theory/fantasy anyway – we’ll see how that plays out on the day.