Founded in: 1994, although the ACT principles of free markets and classical liberalism date back to the creation of the universe 15,000,000,000 years earlier.
Number of MP’s: See, it’s about what your MP’s do, not how many there are.
Leader: Rodney Hide
Slogan: Capitalism – what could go wrong?
Policy Achievements: Government policy isn’t the solution to the problem, its the cause of the problem; also Heather joined the army and Rodney was on Dancing With the Stars.
Position on Political Spectrum: John Key is a Communist
Stands For: Making schools, hospitals and prisons as safe, efficient and effective as private industries like banking and insurance.
Major Financial Backers: Charity is for the weak! However, a generous donation to the ACT party now will be rewarded with your very own government department, national park or electricity grid after the election.
Early Life: According to his official biography Hide was born in Asgard during the late Pliocene era; he seduced Freya goddess of war, outwitted Loki Lie-Smith in a battle of wits, slew Jormungund the World Serpent with a spear of sharpened mistletoe and created the mid-Atlantic basin when Odin threw him to the ground in a wrestling match. Hide’s Wikipedia biography claims the ACT leader was born in Oxford, Canterbury in 1956 and studied Zoology and Botany at Canterbury University. The real truth probably lies somewhere in between.
Electorate: Represents the simple, decent, hard-working folk of Epsom who have honored Hide by dedicating a solid platinum statue to their MP; ninety feet tall it shows him crushing a member of the middle class between his powerful thighs (to reduce materials costs Steve Pio (33), a computer consultant from Pakuranga has been welded into the statue, although his eyes have been replaced with Burmese rubies. If freed Mr Pio says he will not be voting for Hide in the upcoming election).
Strengths: Powerful convictions in the power of individuals operating in an unregulated free market to create wealth, defeat poverty, raise living standards and free people from the soul crushing dead hand of the state.
Weaknesses: Entire belief system is a pile of horseshit which may dent credibility with some voters.
Campaign Strategy: Rely on the feelings of universal love and respect New Zealanders feel towards ACT founder Sir Roger Douglas.
Currently Polling: Around 1% nationally.