The Dim-Post

October 31, 2008

Dim-Post Party Profile: Te Tōrangapū Māori

Filed under: Politics,satire — danylmc @ 3:26 pm
Tags:

Founded In: July 2004

Number of MP’s: 4

Leaders: Tariana Turia and Dr Pita Sharples

Slogan: Nā tō waterbed, nā taku waterbed, ka ora ai te iwi

Policy Achievements: Formation of party led to an increase in health funding required to treat Prime Minister Helen Clark’s blood pressure; strong performance in Marae-Digipolls has forced ACT and National Party MPs to pretend they care about indigenous persons and treaty issues; pressure over police handling of the notorious ‘anti-terror raids’ may make it easier for sensible everyday New Zealanders to stockpile weapons and plot to kill whitey.

Party co-leader: Hon Tarina Turia

Strengths: Has forged strong working relationship with National leader John Key, partly because Key admires Turia’s pragmatic straight-forward approach to problem solving and partly because she kind of reminds him of Yoda.

Weaknesses: Could be accident prone; during a 2005 speech to the staff at Te Puni KoKiri Prime Minister Helen Clark cautioned Turia against spending too long at Parliament advising her that it was ‘a dangerous place’ and expressing concern for her safety. ‘As Minister of Intelligence I hear all about the accidents that happen to people there,’ Clark said. ‘Fires, sudden falls. Bad air – or not enough of it.’

Party co-leader: Dr Pita Sharples

Strengths: Can cast Web, Power Word Kill and Darkness 15′ radius/3 times per combat round.

Weaknesses: Takes double damage from blunt weapons.

About these ads

Leave a Comment »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Rubric Theme Blog at WordPress.com.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 336 other followers

%d bloggers like this: