The Dim-Post

September 19, 2010

This desirable plot

Filed under: general idiocy — danylmc @ 5:34 pm

Is this building:

  • A fortified bunker where paranoid, delusional fanatics shelter from the real world?
  • The command centre for some secretive yet powerful branch of the government?
  • A visual metaphor for National’s media strategy?
  • A house of worship?
  • All of the above?

It’s the Exclusive Brethren complex in Crofton Downs – and it’s for sale. You too could own this heavily fortified fantasy in concrete with it’s assembly facility, associated car park, soundproof chambers, slave-pits and network of hidden tunnels extending for hundreds of kilometres beneath the streets of Wellington.


  1. Not a single window. God is so exclusive, it can only be delivered through fluorescent lighting. That’s some myopic enlightenment.

    Comment by Will de Cleene — September 19, 2010 @ 6:05 pm

  2. I knew instantly what the photo was of – we have a similar complex in Gisborne, and like a Mormon temple they all seem to conform to a set pattern. Over the top government forces repelling fencing, cold-store styling and plenty of open ground for snipers to cover. God doesn’t really appear to look after his own heh heh

    Comment by Cnr Joe — September 19, 2010 @ 7:20 pm

  3. ‘Selling with vacant possession.’ – from the real estate blurb

    Comment by Cnr Joe — September 19, 2010 @ 7:21 pm

  4. The home of Labors famous strategy team aka the “mushroom farm”.

    Comment by leon — September 19, 2010 @ 7:31 pm

  5. I thought “assembly facility”, what are the making in there?!

    That’s a pretty impressive assembly facility though. Odd full-circle design. Could be an alternative parliament house?

    Comment by marsoe — September 19, 2010 @ 7:42 pm

  6. Marsoe, I can’t even see the full-circleness of the design. Mmm, sinister.

    Comment by kahikatea — September 19, 2010 @ 8:11 pm

  7. that circle design is awesome.

    i want to buy the place and found the evil united nations.

    Comment by che tibby — September 19, 2010 @ 8:31 pm

  8. I like that the Exclusive Brethren don’t watch television or use the internet. If they did, they would realise how shady and sinister they make themselves look to everyone else, and moderate their actions to make themselves look more innocuous.

    Comment by kahikatea — September 19, 2010 @ 9:11 pm

  9. @kahikatea
    This interior shot:

    Comment by marsoe — September 19, 2010 @ 9:23 pm

  10. that would be an awesome cage-fighting arena
    the overlords of the evil united nations could cavort as the slaves fight in the cage

    Comment by amc32 — September 19, 2010 @ 9:27 pm

  11. I’m surprised that Bayleys realestate haven’t snapped this puppy up to hold hard sell spruiking sessions.

    Comment by leon — September 19, 2010 @ 10:02 pm

  12. I wonder where they are off to – there have been streams of cars routinely coming and going from that place for years. They have sold off another hall on Mairangi Road

    Interesting to see the interior shots. I was half expecting to see a picture of the printing press used to churn out the pamphlets that undid Brash.

    Comment by Wilton — September 19, 2010 @ 10:06 pm

  13. this being for sale feels kinda weird. i grew up in wilton, this has been an area feature for a long time

    Comment by chris — September 19, 2010 @ 10:30 pm

  14. “that would be an awesome cage-fighting arena”

    What do you mean “would be an awesome cage-fighting arena”.It is a cage and they do fight and squabble.And seperate and shun and Excommunicate and cause trouble.And the arena is run by Brucie Hales

    Comment by Paul — September 19, 2010 @ 11:19 pm

  15. I used to live 2 mins from the place. The constant stream of hair-netted women in skirts in the middle of winter was vaguely creepy. Plus traffic was mad on Sundays.

    Of course, when my son was born the Brethren family next door did bring over a hot meal one day, and it was much appreciated. We’re probably the only people in the country to ever get charity from the Greens and the Exclusive Brethren on the same day.

    Interesting photos of the interior. I’m with the Evil United Nations group; I’ve got about $5 I could pitch in.

    Comment by Simon Poole — September 20, 2010 @ 8:27 am

  16. Actually, I think the circle of pews shows one of the more endearing features of Brethrenism. The idea is that everyone is equal before God and that we all come to worship together with something to bring and share rather than be led by an authority figure on whom the whole auditorium focuses.

    At least, that is how it was done in the Open Brethren church I used to attend. God alone knows why the Exclusives sit in a circle.

    Comment by Steve — September 20, 2010 @ 9:46 am

  17. Looks like a telephone exchange… are they doing what Telecom’s doing and moving their meetings to small metal boxes on street corners? 😛

    Comment by scrubone — September 20, 2010 @ 10:55 am

  18. Is Don Brash hidden in the basement?

    Comment by Liam — September 20, 2010 @ 12:38 pm

  19. “I like that the Exclusive Brethren don’t… …use the internet”

    Yes they do. They have been for about the last 5 years. Funnily the interweb stopped being the work of Satan around the same time as EB companies found out that not being online was costing them business.

    EBs are required to use only their own Wordex computers (the same ones that John Howard got in the shit for funding at EB schools a few years ago. Just so, you know, they don’t get tempted to look up anything that might considered fun but the rest of the population.

    Comment by Daaaave — September 20, 2010 @ 1:12 pm

  20. I’ve always fancied something with hidden tunnels. I nearly bought an ex-RAF signal bunker (read: small room 30ft underground) when I was living in the UK a few years ago. Tempting.

    So I’m assuming that the brethren are decamping rather than evaporating. Moving north, perhaps? A new larger assembly hall somewhere in, at a guess, Tawa? Anyone know?

    Comment by jack — September 20, 2010 @ 3:05 pm

  21. Wasn’t there a house in Lower Hutt with a secret bunker under it, for the RBNZ or something? Google can’t seem to find it for me.

    Comment by Clunking Fist — September 20, 2010 @ 6:19 pm

  22. It wasn’t much of a secret if you knew about it, CF.

    Comment by Phil — September 20, 2010 @ 7:38 pm

  23. @Clunking Fist, yes. The bunker was built in Naenae during World War 2, and a state house was later built over the entrance to the bunker to hide it. It was for storing money or gold or something.

    It’s no longer oifficially secret, but it’s not as well publicised as Britain’s ‘Secret Nuclear Bunker’. Apparently the ‘Secret Nuclear Bunker’ is now a tourist attraction, and has street signs saying things like ‘Secret Nuclear Bunker, 12 miles’.

    Comment by kahikatea — September 20, 2010 @ 9:45 pm

  24. But, Phil: the fact that Google couldn’t find makes me wonder…!

    Comment by Clunking Fist — September 21, 2010 @ 12:07 pm

  25. “that would be an awesome cage-fighting arena”

    With a bit of work, it would make a choice roller derby venue. Or a call centre / financial hub back office.

    Comment by Will de Cleene — September 23, 2010 @ 4:01 am

  26. I’ve grown up in the area as well and it will be kinda weird to see them go as they’ve been there as long as i can remember. Does anyone know where they’re going or what’s happening here? As mentioned above they’ve also sold a property on Mairangi Rd. Don’t EBs have a rule whereby they have to live within a certain distance of the church, say within a 2 mile radius? That’s potentially a stack of property for sale in Crofton, Wilton, Wadestown etc… I’m in the market for a family home so could work out well!!

    Comment by sean — September 23, 2010 @ 9:51 am

  27. I think a lot of the EB have moved down to Nelson.

    Comment by danylmc — September 23, 2010 @ 10:28 am

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