Breathe oxygen every time:
Key says ‘stable government’
Goff says ‘own our own future’.
Drink from an empty glass:
If the political commentators bemoan the lack of substance and then cut to Claire Robinson to tell us which leader has the dreamiest eyes
Impregnate the person sitting next to you and then congratulate them on their cushy new lifestyle:
If Key mentions the urgent need for welfare reform
Drink a beer:
If Garner challenges Goff to tell us his ATM PIN number, and Goff panics and proudly blurts it out.
Continue to send blood to your brain:
Every time the Prime Minister says, ‘Actually’.
Reach out and touch a physical object:
Every time Key responds to an established fact with the phrase ‘I reject that!’
Every time Duncan Garner asks a question requiring a complex response and demands ‘answer me yes or no!’