The Dim-Post

June 12, 2012

The approved spam comments thread

Filed under: general idiocy — danylmc @ 9:50 am

I thought it would be pretty funny to set up a thread in which the spam comments all get approved. (Note: this might not actually be that funny.)


  1. My colleagues and I appreciate the nuanced and intelligibly constructed style of your blog posts. We read your insights with interest and pleasure. It is clear you have a well rounded understanding of the important issues you cover. Perhaps we could work on a joint project of mutual benefit? Please visit our website

    Comment by Jake Quinn — June 12, 2012 @ 9:55 am

  2. I’ll just take the chance to reproduce my favourite every spam comment:

    HELP! I’m currently being held prisoner by the Russian mafia xyzrxyz [url=]penis enlargement[/url] xyzrxyz and being forced to post spam comments on blogs and forum! If you don’t approve this they will kill me. xyzrxyz [url=]penis enlargement[/url] xyzrxyz They’re coming back now. xyzrxyz [url=]vimax[/url] xyzrxyz Please send help! nitip [url=]vimax[/url]

    Comment by David Winter (@TheAtavism) — June 12, 2012 @ 10:09 am

  3. Good day Friend,

    I am pleased to get across to you with a very urgent and profitable business proposal. Thank you for coming to this pre-Budget speech.

    I want to thank Business New Zealand for hosting this event today, this message is real and must be kept confidential because you might find this email in your Inbox, or your Spam folder. I need your assistance in this urgent matter.

    Budget 2012 will show the Government is on track and sticking to its plan. As Bill English said in a speech a few days ago, we are set to post an operating surplus in 2014/15. Most astonishing of my discovery was that,all records bear no next of kin, meaning no member of the family knows about this surplus therefore, no member of his family will ever come forward to claim the money, in order for the bank not to transfer the said sum of Twelve Million United State Dollars($12,000,000.00) as unclaimed funds to the emirates treasury account, the above stated funds most be claimed immediately by somebody standing in.

    This revelation is only known to me because in 2014/15, for the first time since the global financial crisis and the worldwide recession, the Government’s books will be back in the black.

    I am ready to offer you 35% of the total funds and 60% for me while 5% will be set aside for any expenses that might be incurred during the transaction.The central thread in that plan is good, responsible economic management.

    I think sometimes New Zealanders take that for granted, but they shouldn’t. You only have to look at some of the countries in Europe to see how badly things can go wrong.

    Please note that by virtue of my position in the bank, I have worked out perfect modality as well as I shall provide the relevant information and documents for the successful claiming and transfer of the funds into the account that will be provided by you. We have set a path back to surplus and – despite weakening forecasts of world growth – have stuck to that path. Be rest assured that this deal involves no risk, upon the receiving of your acceptance mail I will like you to provide me with the necessary details.

    We are on track to post a surplus in 2014/15.

    And we are building a stronger platform for jobs and growth into the future.

    Thank you.

    Mr Ahmed Alsalhi.
    Branch Manager National Bank of Abu Dhabi
    Mina Branch Abu Dhabi,United Arab Emirates.

    Comment by Jordan — June 12, 2012 @ 10:31 am

  4. Are you paying too much for your Celebrity Makeover Masterchef From Hell? Prepay TV, coming soon!

    Comment by Aztec — June 12, 2012 @ 11:15 am

  5. Dear Viagrow is the only pill that can guarantee fast enlargemnt… gain 10 inches in few weeks!
    Best and cheaperst GROW PRODUCT in a super offer for you today!
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    Comment by gn — June 12, 2012 @ 11:25 am

  6. Hello!

    Greetings! After reading your profile you left in a penpal site I decided to write you to seek for your hand in marriage arrangement, so I request that you give me your humble audience and response after reading my message.

    I am Miss Monalisa Wahgan, I’m 20 yrs old, I am a medical student my father DR. WAHGAN FESCO is a very wealthy man but he has no son to inherite his wealth, so he took it as fate and love me with passion.

    Two years ago my father told me to get married so that he can entrust his wealth and empire to my husband before he die but I told him not to speak of death now and beside that I want to further my education and graduate as a medical doctor before I get married, but he kept persuading me with the topic, the pressure gets too much that I decided to stay away from home for a whole year; when I came back he still raised the topic but this time there’s a son of a minister whom they had arranged for me but I told him that love is all that matters in marriage so I bluntantly refused because I don’t love the guy though I don’t know his reasons for me getting married.

    So, one friday morning after having breakfast with our parents they drove out to see a family friend and to my utmost surprise I was contacted an hour later by a doctor telling me that our parents were involved in a car accident and were hospitalised, I couldn’t believe my ear but I managed to go, getting there I found my dear parents on the hospital bed, my mother died instantly while my father was lying helplessly bearly to speak, it was the begining of our tragedy.

    I was dumb founded, couldn’t say a word, but my father held my hand and told me that our uncle was behind the accident that he has been trying to kill him to claim his wealth since has no son, that’s why he has been asking me to get married, it was then that I understood. He also said that we should not quarrel over his empire with our uncle else he will kill us, but that he has already secured our future through some shares he bought with a finance firm on our behalf two years ago during the financial crises.

    Therefore, he adviced me to be strong and take good care of my sister and he also said that the share worth thousands of dollars and that before the finance firm can release the shares to us that I must get married, that it is only my husband that can claim it on our behalf because that was his instruction to the firm.

    After the statement he breathed his last and died too, leaving me and my sister in this wicked world, and just two months after their burial our uncle took over the whole empire that our parents left behind, as if that is not enough he sent some guys to kill us but they had pity on us and ask us to run away never to return back, that is how we left our country.

    Now, since I don’t have any man in my life and I will also want to marry for love and respect I am requesting that you help me claim the share by marrying me then after claiming the shares we will divorce and everybody will go his and her own way, I will also compensate you with 15% of the total shares when everything is over.

    Note: If you want to help us I want you to do it willingly from your heart if it so pleases you. I expect your immediate response. Thanks for taking your time, Miss Monalisa Wahgan

    Comment by Michael J. Parry — June 12, 2012 @ 11:40 am

  7. I think my comment reposting my favourite spam has been caught in the spam filter!😆

    Comment by Michael J. Parry — June 12, 2012 @ 11:41 am

  8. The real spam is in danger of being swamped by fake spam. What an awesome concept!

    Comment by kahikatea — June 12, 2012 @ 1:29 pm

  9. Lose weight the Indian Way, by drinking Water Of The Ganges
    The water of the sacred river Ganges contains Natural Bio-Active Weight-Loss compounds that are much better than you’re stupid akai berrys! send for you’re free sample

    Comment by kahikatea — June 12, 2012 @ 1:44 pm

  10. oops, that was meant to be: Lose weight the Indian Way, by drinking Water Of The Ganges
    The water of the sacred river Ganges contains Natural Bio-Active Weight-Loss compounds that are much better than you’re stupid akai berrys! send for you’re free sample

    Comment by kahikatea — June 12, 2012 @ 1:46 pm

  11. Sick of wasting your time on the internet arguing politics with other mateless, spotty, no marks?
    Root birds instead. email

    Comment by King Kong — June 12, 2012 @ 3:58 pm

  12. seems like a likely juncture to introduce a Shane Jones joke.

    Comment by merv — June 12, 2012 @ 4:14 pm

  13. Woo hoo! I’ve got a date with Monalisa Wahgan tonight. She’s smokin’ hot!

    Apparently it’s really hard for her to meet guys because her e-mails keep getting filtered out.

    Comment by sammy 2.0 — June 12, 2012 @ 5:44 pm

  14. Water Of The Ganges?! Wow! I once tried the “Chicken Hawked by Vendor on Samui Beach” diet, but it didn’t work for me, they seemed to have forgotten the active ingredient. I didn’t get my money back, either.

    Comment by Clunking Fist — June 12, 2012 @ 6:22 pm

  15. this blog has turned to crap; the only useful bit anymore is the poll trending widget.


    Comment by Alistair — June 12, 2012 @ 10:47 pm


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    Comment by deepred — June 13, 2012 @ 2:01 am

  17. This design is steller! You obviously know how to keep a reader amused. Between your wit, your videos and your great content about online medicines, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Excellent job. I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

    Comment by online medicines — June 13, 2012 @ 5:47 am

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    Comment by online ADHD treatment — June 13, 2012 @ 8:11 am

  19. Alistair@14 – technically that’s trolling, rather than spam…

    Comment by Sam — June 13, 2012 @ 11:14 am

  20. “(Note: this might not actually be that funny.)”


    Comment by Tim — June 13, 2012 @ 4:42 pm

  21. phi4Ahza EewieH2b Soh8ieTh Xoeg3Sah aeph0aeW eeK0Agh2 cieh9Ieg hohka3Pu
    ohWooNe7 reiFie0u Eengoh8d Eogh8iew deeSheu5 uj5Quo6a Heev3aej mah5ooFe
    ea8eSohy soo4Bi8O Ii6uda4u Woh6Kili xeer5naJ oob3Ahch Zeequ9ho Weeraib6

    Comment by Rich d'Rich (@rich_d_rich) — June 13, 2012 @ 5:23 pm

  22. “a [blog] in which the spam comments all get approved”

    Hasn’t David Farrar been there done that?

    Comment by Mr February — June 14, 2012 @ 10:32 pm

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