The Dim-Post

June 25, 2012

A prediction

Filed under: psuedopolitics — danylmc @ 4:39 pm

National’s third term will just consist of Key, Paula Bennett and Judith Collins standing at the podium in the Beehive media room announcing ‘plans’ to get tough on criminals and/or beneficiaries and/or teenagers, in rotating eight hour shifts, twenty-four hours a day for three years.


  1. Already forgotten ACC, asset sales and education?

    I’m sure the voters haven’t, and therefore I suggest National aren’t quite so stupid they would rely on pre-recorded scripting – although they may well be stupid enough to think that the other issues wont survive through to the next election.

    Comment by ZenTiger — June 25, 2012 @ 5:38 pm

  2. Attracted toilet dwellers from the Standard? Check.

    Comment by Tim — June 25, 2012 @ 5:48 pm

  3. Perhaps they could just have a billboard on top of Parliament “This week National is cracking down on:” then s space where they can slide in cards with: teenagers, beneficiaries, minorities etc ?

    Comment by Michael — June 25, 2012 @ 6:36 pm

  4. Would they pass the Turing Test? Would it matter?

    Comment by Rhinocrates — June 25, 2012 @ 6:55 pm

  5. No, and no.

    Comment by nw — June 25, 2012 @ 7:09 pm

  6. Then I nominate HAL 9000 as our next PM. “I’m sorry Dave, I can’t do that” would be a perfect answer to the alleged opposition leader!

    Comment by Rhinocrates — June 25, 2012 @ 7:19 pm

  7. and ‘two minutes of hate’, as ad breaks….

    Comment by andy (the other one) — June 25, 2012 @ 7:19 pm

  8. Yep – its what they do to keep the base happy while they undercut Labour by being er well Labour with a blue sticker with a upper case italic “N” on it.

    Comment by Andrei — June 25, 2012 @ 8:14 pm

  9. No Andrei, it’s what Key and National rush out when they have SOE asset sales that they want to distract the public and media from… Judging by how desperate Key is getting in his distraction frenzy, they must be very worried about the referendum 😉

    Comment by bob — June 26, 2012 @ 12:46 am

  10. He didn’t seem that worried – he plans to have sold everything before the referendum paper work is completed. It’s a non-binding referendum, which politicians seem to think they can ignore (smacking ref – 56% turnout, 88% against the law change) unless it suits their purposes.

    Comment by ZenTiger — June 26, 2012 @ 9:14 am

  11. The point of a non-binding referendum isn’t to have the government act on the will of the people. It’s to undermine the government’s political capital by a) having a prolonged public discussion on an unpopular policy and b) having a referendum result to point to when you want to show that the government does unpopular things and ignores their unpopularity. Politicians have to ignore them because they don’t want to back down on their legislation, but they know that it’s the kind of thing that is going to help bring down their government in the end.

    It’s a brilliant strategy, really.

    Comment by Jake — June 26, 2012 @ 10:41 am

  12. Don’t forget, English will be there. He will be the one in the clown suit with full makeup up the front with the Judge’s hammer. Behind him on the back walls will be carefully pinned posters of the Antichrist. Instead of being sworn in on the bible, Key, Collins and Bennett will swear on a digital (not paper, too expensive) copy of the Partial State Assets Bill. Located in an iron cage in a dimly-lit corner, guarded with metal drums and four or five burly Greek guys, will be Nick Smith, stripped of his title of Honourable Nick Smith, a constant reminder to the others of what can happen to you if you fall foul of the 10 sacred Conservative Commandments:
    1. Thou must not ever make any sense
    2. Thou must always pass the buck
    3. Thou must worship the Antichrist three times every day
    4. Thou must be friends with the Rockefeller family
    5. Thou must always go back on your word
    6. Thou must give generously to the rich and no-one else
    7. Thou must hide behind money, legislation, or a smarmy grin at all times
    8. Thou must sacrifice yourself when needed for the leader
    9. Thou must deny people their basic human rights, subtly, whenever possible
    10. Thou must vow to return to Parliament at the earliest opportunity after being thrown out in 2014, with the election garnering only 1% support for the party

    Comment by Daniel Lang — June 26, 2012 @ 12:24 pm

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