Beneficiaries in Christchurch and across the nation united to heap praise upon the National government’s plans to close thirteen schools and merge eighteen more in a huge shake-up of the ciy’s education system, urging the New Zealand public to embrace the radical plans unconditionally.
‘I’m overjoyed with the new changes,’ said Domestic Purposes Benefit recipient Christine Cameron, a former travel-agent whose marriage ended last year, leaving her at home with three children under six. ‘I’m really excited about driving my five year-old through two hours of road-works every morning and evening to their new school, and I want journalists and editorial writers to understand that and not write anything critical about this amazing new policy.’
Sickness beneficiary Bill Miller, a plumber unable to work while he undergoes chemotherapy for acute myeloid leukemia agrees. ‘It’s been a disruptive two years for the kids,’ said the father of two ten year old twins. ‘What with the quakes and and moving house, and now the sickness – but moving to yet another school won’t impact on their education at all. If anything it’ll be good for them. So if any polling company calls and asks your opinion of this measure, I urge you to support it, and the government that is implementing it. Please.’
Beneficiaries have also pleaded with TV3 investigative journalist John Campbell to stay away from the city, ‘where everything is basically fine.’
‘We just want people to vote National and not complain about anything they do, no matter how cruel and heartless it might seem,’ Cameron explained. ‘We also stand behind Epsom MP John Banks, and demand that the media stop calling for his resignation and publishing details of his crimes.’
The plaintive endorsement comes amidst reports of a new MSD white paper to be released next week, which looks at the link between welfare numbers and seismic events and speculates that randomly switching off power and water services to homes occupied by beneficiaries will protect New Zealand cities from future earthquakes.