The Dim-Post

September 17, 2012

Worst erotic dream ever

Filed under: personal — danylmc @ 2:38 pm

Another in an occasional series of noteworthy(?) dreams:

This one started out promisingly enough – with the good old male fantasy in which a plague wipes out most of humanity: I’m the last man left alive, but there are hundreds of women left with whom I need to breed to perpetuate the species.

So the first stage of the dream involved walking the land and rounding up my harem. The dream then veered off into an unsatisfying direction – a discussion with said harem about whether a species in which 50% of the DNA came from one male would contain enough genetic diversity to survive. I was forced to concede that it wouldn’t. ‘So’, my harem members explained to me, ‘We’re under no moral obligation to breed with you to ensure the survival of our species, since it’s doomed anyway.’ Then they walked away.

My memory of the dream is hazy here, but I evidently won some of my harem back, and breeding took place – because the next stage of the dream was a woman giving birth, hemorrhaging and then dying along with the child (there weren’t any medical staff in my post-plague survivors group.) Another woman successfully delivered but gave birth to a baby carrying a genetic mutation, prompting an intense discussion with my harem about whether we had the rights to carry out a eugenics program and kill the child, given the amount of work it would take to raise and care for someone who would be unable to successfully reproduce.

The dream ended before the debate was resolved. I woke up feeling exhausted and emotionally distressed. And cheated.

29 Comments »

  1. A chilling vision of things to come?

    Comment by Deano — September 17, 2012 @ 2:44 pm

  2. You should have had all of your mates there with you. Clunking Fist, Sanctuary, Tim, etc, Tim being the one that yells out “Beltway! Beltway! Beltway!” when he’s in his little cave room with his harem, procreating.

    Comment by Dan — September 17, 2012 @ 2:55 pm

  3. that’s a headline I didn’t need so soon after reading Kim Dot Com’s twitter feed saying he wants a three way with Johns Banks and Key

    Comment by insider — September 17, 2012 @ 3:06 pm

  4. Analysis: the protagonist was David Shearer, last man standing after Goff was sacked. The harem was the rest of the Labour party (front bums and gaggles of gays!), then the hand wringing over Shearer’s suitability to lead is discussed. He volunteers that he isn’t. But he’s still the leader. At some stage he gets fucked and even that goes badly.

    Comment by David C — September 17, 2012 @ 3:06 pm

  5. didnt know you dreamed in LDFS – interesting…..

    Comment by framu — September 17, 2012 @ 3:10 pm

  6. bah – “FLDS” dammit

    Comment by framu — September 17, 2012 @ 3:11 pm

  7. Tim being the one that yells out “Beltway! Beltway! Beltway!” when he’s in his little cave room Mum’s basement with his haremcopy of Atlas shrugged, procreatingmasturbating.

    Fixed it.

    Comment by Gregor W — September 17, 2012 @ 3:33 pm

  8. damn you strikeout…….

    Comment by Gregor W — September 17, 2012 @ 3:34 pm

  9. “a discussion with said harem about whether a species in which 50% of the DNA came from one male would contain enough genetic diversity to survive. . I was forced to concede that it wouldn’t. “

    FWIW, dream you was right.

    Conservation types reckon an effective population size (Ne) of 50 is required. Sex-ratio-skewed Ne = (4*Nm*Nf) /(Nm+Nf) where Nm= number of males, and Nf = number of females. With Nm equal to 1 it wouldn’t matter how many women you bred with, Ne wouldn’t get up to 4.

    Comment by David Winter (@TheAtavism) — September 17, 2012 @ 3:42 pm

  10. Last man on earth, harem of women aaaaaaaaaaand…… No sex scene. The message is that your dreams suck.

    Comment by Exclamation Mark — September 17, 2012 @ 4:10 pm

  11. …. Not that I want to see a sex scene with you in it or anything I just…. I’ll get my coat.

    Comment by Exclamation Mark — September 17, 2012 @ 4:11 pm

  12. Gregor W

    So Tim is so obssessed with himself that he ends up being the one out of his cronies that can’t force himself to go ahead with the mandate to procreate? Why use the box when the hand feels better? Is that this Tim’s view?

    There’s parallels here with politics. Come on Hone and Sue, time to start jerking along with the rest of them. Hone, your old mate Turia’s there. Sue, Crusher Collins wants to take your car for a … drive. ‘Cos, sometimes it seems you two are the only sensible lefties … left!

    Comment by Dan — September 17, 2012 @ 4:18 pm

  13. Is it a metaphor for the Act Party AGM? Banksies the last man, Epsom is Harem, The genetic mutaution is who will be leader after 2014…fascinating stuff.

    Comment by Ben — September 17, 2012 @ 5:13 pm

  14. was the dream in soft focus or did it have more of an High def look?

    Just asking…

    Comment by statlerandwaldorffromthebalcony — September 17, 2012 @ 5:30 pm

  15. prob sort of a new age high-definition look, I would guess, with fascinating scenery. Futuristic type fantasy where we’re well ahead of all other galaxies in technology but have regressed back to harems and caves (albeit with playstations in them) because of the massive destruction of the earth and the human race.

    Comment by Dan — September 17, 2012 @ 5:50 pm

  16. Gosh Dan you and Gregor are fixated with me although I’m not sure discussing masturbation like that would help you in a psych test. None the less I’ll not take it as homosexual stalking, yet.

    Comment by Tim — September 17, 2012 @ 6:27 pm

  17. Wow, trust a scientist not to see the main chance. The appeal of having lots of kids is not just the survival of the entire human race. It’s also the survival of the women themselves, into old age. “Who’s going to look after you when you’re old, baby? Sure ain’t gonna be me!”. Also, “I’m only getting older…get me at my most fertile”. Finally, “I’m done arguing. You guys sort it out amongst yourselves – I’ll be in the pillow and mirrors room, with every drug ever invented, all the nice food, having a cold beer in the spa pool”.

    Comment by Ben Wilson — September 17, 2012 @ 6:58 pm

  18. looking to me like you’re either reading a bunch of margaret attwood, or catching up on ursula le guin.

    anarchist feminist future methinks.

    Comment by Che Tibby — September 17, 2012 @ 7:17 pm

  19. Good one Tim

    And without the trademark phrase

    Looks like you’ve just passed your psych test with flying colours

    Comment by Dan — September 17, 2012 @ 8:18 pm

  20. I was going to say the lone male is the Labour Party, the 100 women are the soft political centre, the consumation with which seems to obligatory, yet ultimately doomed, but #4 David C did it first.

    Comment by Mr February — September 17, 2012 @ 9:46 pm

  21. Your dream is a compelling reason not to study science.

    Comment by helenalex — September 18, 2012 @ 11:19 am

  22. “…a discussion with said harem about whether a species in which 50% of the DNA came from one male would contain enough genetic diversity to survive. I was forced to concede that it wouldn’t.”

    Lying in an erotic dream context is perfectly acceptable conduct.

    Comment by ihstewart — September 18, 2012 @ 12:41 pm

  23. Lying in an erotic dream context is perfectly acceptable conduct

    Practically mandatory.

    I’ll admit when I picture Danyl being forced to concede a point on genetic diversity to his erstwhile harem, all I can picture is some sort of some sort of feminist studies under-grad lecture / Barbarella / Russ Meyer production mashup.

    Disconcerting.

    Comment by Gregor W — September 18, 2012 @ 4:01 pm

  24. We should all eat cheese tonight, compare notes tomorrow.

    Comment by Clunking Fist — September 18, 2012 @ 4:57 pm

  25. Hi Dan. Please stop stalking me with homoerotic undertones.

    Comment by Tim — September 18, 2012 @ 8:11 pm

  26. oh my god, another tory with an image of himself on a pedestal

    Comment by Dan — September 18, 2012 @ 11:38 pm

  27. Nothing homoerotic about it …………

    Unless you had a different gendered harem from danyl

    Comment by Dan — September 18, 2012 @ 11:44 pm

  28. Two in a row is homoerotic stalking Dan. Don’t deny yourself.

    Comment by Tim — September 19, 2012 @ 8:07 pm

  29. Now you’re just coming on to me!

    Comment by Dan — September 19, 2012 @ 10:24 pm


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