The Dim-Post

January 28, 2013

My slightly belated political predictions for 2013

Filed under: Politics — danylmc @ 2:41 pm

Phil Heatley will be sacked from Cabinet.

David Carter will be nominated Speaker of the House.

In mid May, construction crews operating in Christchurch’s red zone will excavate the basement of a demolished butcher to find a human skeleton buried in a shallow grave beneath the concrete floor. Forensic analysis will determine that the skeleton is that of a male in his late teens or early twenties, that this person died approximately thirty years ago, and that they were buried alive. The skeleton’s teeth will be compared to the dental records kept by Christchurch schools prior to the period and perfectly match those of ex-Burnside student John Key.

Winston Peters and the new Speaker will clash.


  1. This is supposed to begin:

    “I am writing this post in December, but have timed it to come up today as our political class is back to work, and the political year is starting with the first sitting of Parliament tomorrow.”

    Comment by Graeme Edgeler — January 28, 2013 @ 3:20 pm

  2. You forgot to mention reports from staffers of an incessant, un-nerving fluttering noise emanating from the PMs office, and the terrible time the cleaning ladies have with disposing of the vast quantities of moth scale.

    Comment by Gregor W — January 28, 2013 @ 3:37 pm

  3. I am writing this post in December, but have timed it to come up today as our political class is back to work

    And the public servants who spend solo much time oiling their lefty intellectual superiority

    Comment by timmy — January 28, 2013 @ 5:49 pm

  4. “who spend solo much time”


    Comment by Sacha — January 28, 2013 @ 6:59 pm

  5. Will a circle of ravens fly above the grave? Is this why Brownlee has suspended democracy in Canterbury?

    Whangarei’s a safe seat for National. I wonder if they’ll try to select Heatley out, or keep him on another term as a backbencher.

    Comment by George D — January 28, 2013 @ 7:09 pm

  6. Heatley’s probably been given the tip it’s time to go — it’s not good to have ex-ministers on the backbenches looking for trouble. Wilkinson’s more problematic, because depending on boundary shifts will she be needed/wanted to run against Cosgrove?

    Comment by Keir — January 28, 2013 @ 9:35 pm

  7. So the Prime Minister is a lizard man impostor right? Right?

    Comment by Jordan M. — January 28, 2013 @ 11:41 pm

  8. …and the skeleton’s teeth will also match the bite marks on Phil Heatley’s arse?

    Comment by PPCM — January 29, 2013 @ 11:21 am

  9. Does correctly predicting a poor outcome count as a net win?

    Comment by stafford — January 31, 2013 @ 2:42 pm

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