The Dim-Post

July 2, 2013

A series of riddles, each more fiendish and difficult than the last, except for the very last which is easy

Filed under: books — danylmc @ 9:19 am

The official publication date for my book is Friday (launch party details here). But I’ve hidden a copy of the book somewhere in central Wellington and all you need to do to find it is solve a mind-numbing riddle incorporating several well-known Wellington landmarks.

The day is the number of Entrees, Salads, Fish and Oysters fair

That you can buy at Winston’s lair.

The month is the number of cups red, on the fountain of Elijah’s relief.

Next seek ye the temple of Helena’s belief

And unravel the strings from beginning to middle

discussion one three discussion ten one

Now go down one line to honor the gentile author who wrote this riddle

discussion nine two discussion twelve one discussion sixteen one

Look for me where you’d find me but higher and deeper

Solve the final riddle and you’ll have my book and keep her.

34 Comments »

  1. yeah nah

    Comment by Sacha — July 2, 2013 @ 9:23 am

  2. The first couple of lines are I presume something to do with the place a classicist might call Psittacus Viridis.

    The rest though is over my head.

    Comment by Rob Hosking — July 2, 2013 @ 9:29 am

  3. <The day is the number of Entrees, Salads, Fish and Oysters fair
    That you can buy at Winston’s lair.
    The month is the number of cups red, on the fountain of Elijah’s relief.

    I make that June 18th. Unless you count the big red ball at the top, then it’s July 18th.

    Comment by Phil — July 2, 2013 @ 9:31 am

  4. Face it Danyl, you’re no Dan Brown!

    Comment by Hugh — July 2, 2013 @ 1:22 pm

  5. Hands or nothing!

    Comment by sheesh — July 2, 2013 @ 2:02 pm

  6. It’s a she then?

    Comment by MeToo — July 2, 2013 @ 2:40 pm

  7. Face it Danyl, you’re no Dan Brown!

    I AM a Dan Brown but I didn’t get much sleep last night and had to stay home to look after my daughter, so only had a couple spare minutes to write a riddle (I’d already hidden the book). Which is a bit disappointing, since I’ve wanted to do this for months. Also, Dan Brown has staff.

    Comment by danylmc — July 2, 2013 @ 2:49 pm

  8. You lost me at Helena. Too many wiki entries. Not helped that the feast of St Helen is 18 August, but you’re clearly referring to 18 June. Helena Bonham-Carter? Is there a landmark cinema on Cuba? IDK. Riddles are the worst, you bastard.

    Looking forward to my pre-order arriving though. I hope you included a good amount of smut, and possibly the word ‘cunt’ – it’d guarantee coverage in the Herald.

    Comment by Vanilla Eis — July 2, 2013 @ 4:58 pm

  9. Please VE, D-Mc is much too classy to stoop to such crass terminology.

    He would have used ‘Quimm’.

    Comment by Phil — July 2, 2013 @ 5:55 pm

  10. “DM: I did have a clear vision for the novel, one that changed several times. ”

    Dan. Brown.

    Comment by Grant — July 2, 2013 @ 7:54 pm

  11. “I AM a Dan Brown but I didn’t get much sleep last night”

    Dan Brown sleeps like a baby every night, his conscience untroubled.

    Comment by Hugh — July 3, 2013 @ 1:58 am

  12. I AM a Dan Brown…

    If you are trying to wheedle me into to spending money on your book, this claim isn’t the best way to go about it. Plus, I’ll believe it when I see “The Unreadable Secrets of Wadestown” (or whatever it is called) on the big screen, with Ryan Gosling playing a brilliant University lab technician called in by the Police to help solve a series of diabolical murders, somehow connected to a dark secret that the Ratana Church is desperate to keep hidden.

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — July 3, 2013 @ 7:50 am

  13. Andrew: you have missed your true vocation.

    That could really work….although someone tell me who Ryan Gosling is.

    Comment by Rob Hosking — July 3, 2013 @ 8:48 am

  14. @Rob,

    See here: http://www.ibtimes.com/fifty-shades-grey-unofficial-trailer-starring-ryan-gosling-and-emma-stone-shows-steamy-chemistry

    Cast in his role in “The Unreadable Secrets of Wadestown” due to a remarkable resemblance to this pin-up boy: http://vup.victoria.ac.nz/brands/Danyl-McLauchlan.html

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — July 3, 2013 @ 11:05 am

  15. @Andrew: Temuera Morrison would play the villain, of course.

    Comment by Hugh — July 3, 2013 @ 1:38 pm

  16. @Andrew: Temuera Morrison would play the villain, of course.

    In whiteface. For some reason, Danyl made the villainous Ratana hitman an albino Maori.

    Comment by Andrew Geddis — July 3, 2013 @ 1:58 pm

  17. Are there any wife swapping secrets ya know like just out of interest ahem in the book?

    Comment by toby — July 3, 2013 @ 7:10 pm

  18. For some reason, Danyl made the villainous Ratana hitman an albino Maori.

    What albino Maori’s aren’t villainous hitmen though, really.

    Comment by Gregor W — July 3, 2013 @ 8:22 pm

  19. @Andrew: I think it’d be better if he was a snickering Maori assassin with a sexual fetish for raping white women.

    (This isn’t just an abhorent and juvenile non-sequiter, it’s another Dan Brown joke)

    Comment by Hugh — July 3, 2013 @ 10:11 pm

  20. This is all too hard – I’ll just ask the GCSB for your phone’s metadata; that should tell me where the book is.

    Comment by JBGoode — July 4, 2013 @ 9:30 am

  21. Hellene, maybe? I tried starting in the middle, no luck. Someone asked if I was looking for mushrooms.

    Comment by lyndonhood — July 4, 2013 @ 9:58 am

  22. “…Next seek ye the temple of Helena’s belief…”

    Is it somewhere in the Beehive then?

    Comment by Sanctuary — July 4, 2013 @ 3:32 pm

  23. Well, 18 June end the Battle of Waterloo and Bonaparte ended up on St Helena.

    That’s all I’ve got…

    Comment by Gregor W — July 5, 2013 @ 10:26 pm

  24. The other player being Wellington of course and the suburb being Waterloo.

    Comment by Gregor W — July 5, 2013 @ 10:37 pm

  25. If you think I’m going to Lower Hutt to find your book Danyl you are sadly mistaken.

    Comment by Jake — July 6, 2013 @ 9:07 am

  26. I did not find the book where I thought it might be, so either I am wrong or somebody beat me to it.
    Since I am curious to know which so here comes my best guess:
    Helen is of course Helen Clark and since she is an outspoken agnostic, the temple to her believe is presumably a library. Since the hiding place is in Central Wellington, this must be the Central City Library. Not sure whether the fact that there is a Clark’s at the library is coincidental or not.
    The middle part of the riddle I disregard as a smokescreen and skip to the last bit which I read to refer to the location where Danyl’s book will turn up in the library, but on a higher shelf and at the back (deeper).

    D.

    Comment by diessoli — July 6, 2013 @ 4:25 pm

  27. diessoli – close, but you’re way off.

    Time for a clue: Helena’s temple has nothing to do with politics, and is not that cryptic once you know what it is.

    Comment by danylmc — July 6, 2013 @ 7:54 pm

  28. For the temple of Helena’s belief, are you taking about the place I’m thinking of in Miramar?

    I’m out of Welly at the moment and already received my pre-ordered copy so just asking out of curiosity, if I’m right I hope my clue proves helpful to someone.

    Comment by Asher — July 6, 2013 @ 9:07 pm

  29. Next seek ye the temple of Helena’s belief

    Helena Bonham Carter Observatory?

    Comment by Phil — July 8, 2013 @ 9:25 am

  30. Asher, did we honestly both buy copies of the same book? And if so, why was yours delivered the day before mine? Favouritism. Clearly a Jewish conspiracy.

    Comment by Simon — July 8, 2013 @ 9:30 am

  31. I turned onto the Street believing I had it Maid
    Believing belief was enough in this place of many a faith
    But I had entered without any plans being laid
    It has been, ultimately, a wild goose chase*

    *In a world where “chase” rhymes with “faith”

    Dear Danyl. Thanks for a pleasant lunch-hour. I met some nice people, who quite possibly thought they had a lunatic on their hands, rambling at them about the internet, treasure hunts and Aro Valley. However, the sense of futility that has now descended on me after thinking I had cracked the case wide open is, like your book, unspeakable. To console myself, I am considering buying your stupid book.

    Comment by Bob Sala — July 9, 2013 @ 2:22 pm

  32. Helena Bonham Carter Observatory?

    More likely Helena Troy (nee Sparta).
    Start digging around the Greek-NZ memorial I reckon.

    Comment by Gregor W — July 10, 2013 @ 11:20 am

  33. Helena of Adiabene converted to Judaism in 30CE. Amongst other things she donated a golden candelabra to teh Temple in Jerusalem. I do not live in Wellington but presume there must be a Jewish Synagogue somewhere in the city…the reference to the “gentile author” suggests a jewish connection.

    Just a thought…

    Comment by PPCM — July 11, 2013 @ 2:33 pm

  34. There are 2 synagogues, one on Webb st and one on Ghuznee. I think the one on ghuznee has a picture of a candleabra on the wall but can’t remember for sure.

    Comment by Asher — July 11, 2013 @ 8:12 pm


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: